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Title: Feeling numb, needing some guidance Post by: soul_salve on April 11, 2016, 02:08:39 PM Hello. I've posted here before, but something just happened which I feel like I can't fully recover from.
My uBPDex and I have had a very tumultuous relationship and we have been off and on for a long while. I just recently found out from him that he had had unprotected sex while we were apart. He got blood testing a month later for it and there were no positive results, however he said he has just not felt the same. I actually did not have sex with him, but just performed oral. I feel dirty. He told me this and expressed how remorseful he felt and I truly believe him. I have never had sex with him because he has issues in that department. Any sexual encounter he has had has been not out of love and an instant regret for him. But, this doesn't mean that I am not feeling hurt and betrayed. I looked into testing, but there aren't a lot of options for throat. I'm just afraid it will be HPV or something. Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get this out somewhere because I am too humiliated to talk to anyone in person. Title: Re: Feeling numb, needing some guidance Post by: WoundedBibi on April 11, 2016, 02:37:44 PM Hello. I've posted here before, but something just happened which I feel like I can't fully recover from. My uBPDex and I have had a very tumultuous relationship and we have been off and on for a long while. I just recently found out from him that he had had unprotected sex while we were apart. He got blood testing a month later for it and there were no positive results, however he said he has just not felt the same. I actually did not have sex with him, but just performed oral. I feel dirty. He told me this and expressed how remorseful he felt and I truly believe him. I have never had sex with him because he has issues in that department. Any sexual encounter he has had has been not out of love and an instant regret for him. But, this doesn't mean that I am not feeling hurt and betrayed. I looked into testing, but there aren't a lot of options for throat. I'm just afraid it will be HPV or something. Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get this out somewhere because I am too humiliated to talk to anyone in person. You can have your throat tested for several things. And you need to have this done. Go see your GP or a specialized clinic. Make sure you don't have unprotected sex again. Especially with your ex. A pwBPD can tell lies quite easily about what they have done how with whom... . His actions count more than his words and despite his regrets if he has BPD the chances of him never cheating on you again (if you let yourself be recycled) are 0. Take care of yourself. Title: Re: Feeling numb, needing some guidance Post by: soul_salve on April 13, 2016, 08:20:11 PM Thanks for the answer. I still feel like I'm reeling from everything.
I'm waiting for the test results for him because he told me he would tell me and then I am going to try NC. I have been researching a lot and I am not really finding anywhere that does STI throat testing specifically. Title: Re: Feeling numb, needing some guidance Post by: WoundedBibi on April 13, 2016, 08:27:49 PM I'm waiting for the test results for him because he told me he would tell me DON'T! No offense but he probably told you a lot of things that he either didn't do or that were not true. Do NOT wait for him to tell you his test results. He might not tell you anything or he might lie. If he has BPD both are very likely to happen. This is YOUR health so take it into YOUR hands. If you can't find a clinic go to your doctor. He/she will know where you can go or can do the tests for you. But for the love of god GO! Title: Re: Feeling numb, needing some guidance Post by: soul_salve on April 14, 2016, 10:17:22 PM You're right, I shouldn't put weight in his words anymore.
Thank you, I will call up my doctor. |