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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Herodias on April 12, 2016, 07:12:53 PM



Title: Do they ever have a happily ever after..?
Post by: Herodias on April 12, 2016, 07:12:53 PM
I was thinking about people who fall in love, get married and stay together for years... .It seems very uncommon these days... .I do feel like we have a chance for that, but do they? If they are always fearing abandonment and running to the next fantasy relationship, do they ever have a happily ever after that they are seeking? I can't imagine it... .What a concept... .staying with the person you fell in love with and being happy. Maybe I am watching too many romance movies, lol


Title: Re: Do they ever have a happily ever after..?
Post by: Ab123 on April 12, 2016, 07:26:13 PM
My ex was 50 when we met. I think he thought it was finally his time, and that I was really "the one" he'd been searching for since his divorce, 20 years prior. Based on the little I understand about his past, I think he had gotten "better."  But, he couldn't control the disregulation and push/pull compulsions. It's really sad. Epically, horribly sad. He really wants to be a good person, and he hates being alone. But, I can't help him. He can only destroy me. If I really believed he could have an epiphany and change, I'd probably be in my car and at his house within the hour, despite the new bf. (It would be a close call... .if the new relationship continues on the current track, my answer to that Q will probably be different within the month.).


Title: Re: Do they ever have a happily ever after..?
Post by: Ab123 on April 12, 2016, 07:46:10 PM
I should add that the texts I received about 1.5 weeks ago, proposing marriage, were the full blown Happily ever after" fantasy, with whipped cream and a cherry on top. I believe he was sincere.  He wants that. With me.  I just don't believe he can deliver. I'm about 90 percent sure that if I said "yes" and ran back to him, he would be raging/running within 3-4 months. That requires believing that it isn't me, it's him.