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Title: So many emotions - sad, lonely, helpless Post by: Rosie47 on April 12, 2016, 09:42:12 PM My 16 year old son was diagnosed with BPD about 18 months ago. Life is tough, his Dad (my husband of 25 years) passed away 4 years ago so it is just him and me. I feel that i don't even have the mental or physical energy to carry on even with writing this.
Title: Re: So many emotions - sad, lonely, helpless Post by: Lollypop on April 13, 2016, 02:41:03 AM Oh Rosie,
A big Welcome to you. Goodness, you've had it tough and understandably must be reeling from all that has happened. Life is just so so very hard and at times we really do wonder how much we can take. You've come to a wonderful place. I've been active on this forum since mid-Dec and you will find the information and lessons on the top right hand side very interesting and useful as a starting point. I have gained so much here and reading and sharing on posts. It's literally been a family life saver as I learn (finally) how to manage my reactions, improve communication and understand boundaries and limits. I practise my new skills and am seeing improvements in my Bpds. You've come to the right place. I've got a BPDs25 who was always "difficult", his behaviours kicked in at about 15 (or maybe came to my notice as I was reeling myself from three family members dying over 4 years, one being suicide). I have a gap and my other son15 is not displaying any traits other than adolescence but I'm keeping my eye on him. My Bpds is currently not seeking treatment and has a history of drug problems and all the chaos that entails, with BPD - complex issues, he internalises and doesn't rage, he's quiet. My own life became chaotic as I got drawn in with BPDs25 dramas. I sought help in FA as our relationship broke down, I was feeling so overwhelmed and I was full of grief for the boy I'd lost as I faced his addictions. Things improved in our relationship but we manoeuvred him out of the house last May at 24. His behaviours and refusal to get on with his life caused us a lot of pain. All pre-diagnosis. He got diagnosed sept 15 in the USA during crisis and returned home to us in Dec - we didn't want him but we couldn't afford to do anything else. Importantly, from what I learnt here, I can work out my immediate priorities. With help Im finding and feeling my way forward. It's been astonishing as I've seen improvements. I now have hope. My fear and sadness has changed more to acceptance. There's many on this forum with teenagers and we seem to be all ages so have a wide range of life experiences. But we all have a shared experience of BPD. I've found a place where everybody understands, I get different viewpoints and Feedback when I'm unsure. I'm growing myself and modelling behaviours. I'm becoming the parent they need me to be. I don't always get it right but I've found with the support here I find the strength to pause then carry on. I'm learning that we can live a life well, despite the problems. It isn't what any of us expected, it isn't what we would have chose, but we find a way to find a happiness. Perhaps you might like to start telling us a little more about yourself or your sons traits. Are you both getting grief counselling? Is your son in therapy? Do you have friends and family around? Title: Re: So many emotions - sad, lonely, helpless Post by: bpdmom1 on April 22, 2016, 10:22:30 PM Title: Re: So many emotions - sad, lonely, helpless Post by: AnotherWon on April 23, 2016, 04:00:12 PM Hi Rosie,
Sorry you're struggling. Before I found this site, I went to some pretty dark places and felt extremely alone. Lots of reading old posts and now I know that's totally not the case. That fact made all the difference for me. Plus, changing my reactions changed things in our house for the better. Try out the tools on the side of this page! Thank goodness for them! |