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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: FigureIt on April 13, 2016, 07:25:19 AM



Title: How do I stay emotionally strong?
Post by: FigureIt on April 13, 2016, 07:25:19 AM
In December my attorney sent my live-in (own house together) uBPDbf a letter stating that I was done with the relationship and wanted my down-payment (investment) from purchase of the house together back.  I had to do it through an attorney because my uBPDbf would not hear me when I said "I'm done."   About 2 1/2 weeks ago he was finally served the papers which I signed in January, but my bf was avoiding the server.  He wanted to negotiate a compromise, etc.  I thought about it and did sort of lean that way, but finally decided and told him "No compromise and I need distance, space and time away."  That was 2 weeks ago.  Last week he finally retained and attorney and I thought the end was moving closer.

Monday, he purchased tickets to a musical for 3 (my D10 included).  I was confused about the purchase.  Asked why, he said to be nice, and then I accepted them and said Thank you.  Yesterday after meeting with his counselor, she pointed out it was being pushy and he offered that I take my mother on the third ticket.  Then last night he asked if that was okay.  I even had him state to me what his counselor said, She stated he was being pushy and that hoping for a miracle we would get back together is what is causing his hurt etc.  I thought he finally understood... .But he kept pushing. 

He wanted me to say there is a chance for his miracle or he will go off the deep end and not give anything with his attorney and the house.  I held off on saying there's a chance for that miracle and said things like miracles are always possible.  I NEED this to end!  He is emotionally and physically draining me.

Yes I know the easiest thing is to move, BUT I too own the house, I have a daughter in school (not his), and I have 2 dogs that I take care of.  Plus, I don't have the financial means.  My parents are 45min. away, but that is not currently feasible with my daughter's school and my job.

I know I've endured him for 5 years, but how do I stay emotionally strong through his bombardment?