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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Hadlee on April 20, 2016, 08:48:25 AM



Title: Going on holiday without the BPD
Post by: Hadlee on April 20, 2016, 08:48:25 AM
I am curious to know - if an attachment went on a holiday with friends without the BPD - would it normally trigger the BPD?  I'm sure I've read posts before where this is a fairly big trigger for them.



Title: Re: Going on holiday without the BPD
Post by: WoundedBibi on April 20, 2016, 08:59:04 AM
I am curious to know - if an attachment went on a holiday with friends without the BPD - would it normally trigger the BPD?  I'm sure I've read posts before where this is a fairly big trigger for them.

It depends on the pwBPD. There is no one size fits all answer.

Does the pwBPD have other attachments or friends left while this attachment is gone?

Is this pwBPD more afraid of abandonment or engulfment at that moment or both?

How long is the holiday for?

Are they in the idealization phase or the devaluation?


Title: Re: Going on holiday without the BPD
Post by: Hadlee on April 20, 2016, 09:09:44 AM
It depends on the pwBPD. There is no one size fits all answer.

Good point.

Yes there are other friends to lean on.  The main attachment is away for a month and the BPD is in the idealization stage.


Title: Re: Going on holiday without the BPD
Post by: WoundedBibi on April 20, 2016, 09:16:15 AM
It depends on the pwBPD. There is no one size fits all answer.

Good point.

Yes there are other friends to lean on.  The main attachment is away for a month and the BPD is in the idealization stage.

Generally speaking a holiday in the idealization phase is a major trigger. And a month might seem as a very long period of time for the pwBPD.


Title: Re: Going on holiday without the BPD
Post by: Hadlee on April 20, 2016, 09:19:23 AM
That's what I was thinking.

Thanks WoundedBibi :)