BPDFamily.com

Hello everyone

I'm having an awful sense of forboding tonight, it's as if I sense something horrible has happend or will happen.

Maybe it's nothing but many times during my relationship with my exBPDgf I would get these awful feelings.

I have a twin sister and we shared our own unique language between us. We could communicate and adults/parents and older brothers didn't understand.

Anyone else have an erie sense of psychic connection with their exes or other people?

So many unexplained phenomena occured during our 4 years of off and on rs

For instance one evening on our return trip home, driving down the interstate and talking about God, my exgf didn't choose to believe, I was attempting to express my beliefs and why I believe and I just told her, J, you will see for yourself that God is real. Just like that a meteor glowing blueish green streaks across the sky beside us, it kept growing brighter and brighter as it flew by and I was preparing for an explosion like the meteor over Russia a few years back? We sat there watching this beautiful event unfold together.

This meteor was witnessed by others across the whole country from West coast to the east.

That was last summer, 2015

When she conceived it was very similar, she told me many times she couldn't have children, around the time she got pregnant we were laying in my living room and I again was trying to convince her of the reality of God's existence and I said expect a miracle soon J, just as I say it a huge bright crash of lightning filled our apartment with light and thunder shook us both, scaring us.

I remember begging God to allow me to give her a child as she was convinced a baby was what she so desperately wanted in her life. She was living at that time with a bf that got her on meth. I begged God to let me be the father so that my ex and our child would be together and safe.

So many other coincidences that I have to sit back and remember but still so strange.

Anyway I may be tired and just filled with fear. Who knows?

There are so many strange things in my life that make no sense but I have no answers so I let them go.

Wow, it just dawned on me

So many years of my exgf trying to kill herself and putting herself in harms way, I forgot how much stress it was to constantly be wondering if she's alive or dead. Holy cow what a nightmare of worry and dread day after day and night after night.

I'm still doing it and it must be habit?

I guess I forgot the heavy toll it took on me for caring. This goes back to FOO, how many nights I lay in bed trying to figure out ways to save my family from destruction. My little immature brain didn't have the answers but I sure tried.

Huh, best start to let people go and stop the worry.

I totally get what your saying. It's called a "gut" feeling or a 6th sense. I feel at times I can "pick up" the depressed state my ex gets into. Now for 2 days I can "sense" her that she will be back into my life trying once again! God I hope I'm wrong!

Yes, I can relate to that. May sound odd to others who don't experience it. I am highly intuitive, my gut feelings are generally correct. I find it best to go with feelings rather than try to rationalise them. Did you know today is a full moon? Heightened sensitivity for us intuitives.

The Full Moon? I didn't think of that. It was cloudy when I went home last night so I didn't see it.

Yeah I'm super sensitive but not sure what else is going on. Thought part of this was a flashback to the nights and days of constant threats of suicide or fake illness, she would fall on average of 3 4 times a week, say she would pass out and wake up alone with our son in her care.

Stupid woman and her never ending childish drama, lol