BPDFamily.com

I've told my uBPDbf I need "Space & Time" away from him.  That I no longer want to live together (we own a house together, that I put the down payment on).  I hired an attorney and he was served papers to get my down payment back, etc.  He's finally retained and attorney but is "hoping for a miracle" that I decide I don't want to leave.  He wants me to tell him there is hope for his miracle.  I've said there's always a chance that miracles can happen.  But, that's not what he wants. 

After being together for 5 years and taking and taking, etc.  He does go to a counselor.  Although when I brought up BPD he refused he has it.  I also have never met or been to the counselor so who knows what he's actually telling her.  He believes he's changed, but... .

1.  I DON'T love him like I did anymore. 

2.  I DON'T trust him with my inner hurts, weaknesses, thoughts etc. (which he threw back at me in the past)

3.  I DON'T believe he him.  He lies or manipulates

4.  I DON'T believe he's truly changed.  I believe he does all the right things to try to get me to give in.

He says he "loves me" but I always go back to if you loved me so much then listen to what I need now and don't be around, give me space, let me move, etc. (which he won't do).

He knows he pushes, which is usually when he's feeling sad and down.  Last night he texted me to meet him out for drinks, I said no.  Then he called, I said I only wanted to be out till 10:00pm and I would meet him after my workout.  He responded with maybe another night.  I said okay.  He then called again asking.  I again said after my workout and only till 10:00.  He couldn't decide and then came home and started with "How he felt I didn't care about his birthday the next day" and on the conversation went, to asking me if "His Miracle has a chance"... .

I don't know how to respond anymore!  If I just come out and say "I don't love you leave me alone"  that will lead to raging & painting black.

What we may see as offering an olive branch, or being nice, is really equivocating from the 30,000 ft view. I did this often while in my r/s, and it often let to.confusion and frustration on both sides (while silly me tried to avoid being controlling). A pwBPD needs firm and consistent boundaries to get the message. BPD aside (and though there's nothing wrong with being kind), I see mixed signals here. You've both lawyered up. Though you aren't married, divorce is inherently adverserial. This doesn't mean that you can't work together in some ways to reduce conflict, but the conflict is there. Legally, you are adversaries. Emotionally, you want to be done... .or do you? It's hard to work through this given your financial ties.