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Hi all

My husband (46) went away on a surfing trip interstate on 3 March and met another woman on the 6th march When he came back on the 7th I knew something was wrong. On the 3rd when he arrived after his 10 hour drive, he rang me from a warehouse surf store and sent photos of tshirts and shorts for the kids. When confronted he confirmed he had met someone else wanted to sell the house and divorce asap. He said he wants to move up there 10 hours away with her after one night! He stayed here at home while he fixed up a room at his mothers house where he still is. He left on the 14th April. He said that he lied to this woman and told her we were separated. He then went and stayed with her at Easter putting up 4 photos on instagram that my kids (21 and 15) got notifications they were added. He told my 21yro that we have been distant for some time. He hasnt spoken to the 15 old only that he would think about going to counselling. He had no intention of going. He is a person that goes from 1 to 100 in an instant. He calls me nasty names which killed my self esteem. He appears to be narcassitic really nice outside but can be an arsehole inside BUT he can be so lovely... .just his temper is awful. Only our family get to see his bad side, but not his sisters or mother, he behaves in front of them. So far anyway. He was right we were distant as we all took a step back as his anger and moods become daily. He said that he left becuase of the negative forces (his new woman is into that sort of thing as am I to a point) but it seems she has pushed him. Shes 44 lives with her Mum never married no kids and she surfs! His obsession! I know he has been under the pump at work and works long hours and has been working weekends to pay for his Fiji surf trip he is on now... .he has twisted and lied about events and blamed me to her for things he did years saying it was me and how he should have left me years ago... .he never spoke to the boys before he left... .Im not sure if there is something wrong with him or not... .atm I still love him and would love to reconcile... .his family apart from one sister have blocked me from facebook and funny the new woman had blocked me but today must have unblocked me (confusing) when I saw her profile pic on his sisters page... .that is very hurtful like myself and my boys never existed. He has never spoken of divorce selling up or severing our company which I am director (just a very small co me and him) ... .but I guess that will come... .his mum told me last week that what I told her sounds very familiar to his father (who was diagnosed with Bipolar) but my husband doesnt get in manic moods and neither did he... .he appeared to have seasonal depression but also had a really bad temper worrying about lights left on, gargabe bins not being bought in, plates in the kids bedrooms... .yeah annoying but not enough to really go off about... .we also renovated here and he says no one helped him. I got 2 tradesman in and I painted and helped with as much work as I could. It seems he is dragging up anything to justify what he has done.

Hi Mischa,

Welcome and hello :)

Impulsive behavior is pretty common to BPD, and not thinking things thru. It sounds like he has projected a full fantasy onto this woman without knowing her. It may not last, hard to say, tho meanwhile you are in a painful position of wait and see. Your kids must feel shattered too, watching their dad abandon the family this way.

What is it like when the two of you communicate right now?

There is no magic formula to fix a relationship on the rocks tho we can share with you skills to mitigate things and prevent them from making things worse.

We're here to lean on if you need support.

LnL

BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Mishca on April 23, 2016, 02:30:21 AM