BPDFamily.com

Ok I think I might be about to win a prize, a life time Movie award, something... .

My on-off, definitely BPD crazy has been playing with my head for more than a year and now, today, I find out... .

She has been engaged the whole time.

The guy has been away, working in Africa. I took her to the airport, he picked her up the other side. She came back to me, then friendzoned me when things started to go better with him, then came back to me for a reason I cannot quite fathom, maybe just control and help with her homework at uni, all the time he was there in the background.

I finally did some Facebook stalking, realised he has been back here in England for a month. She came to see me a week ago... .

Head is literally spinning.

The level of organisation that this took is mindblowing. Just the amount of mental energy she must have spent keeping all the plates spinning. She cheated on me, with other guys, so I just don't know how deranged one person can be... .

Oh God, I do not get these creeps but then again I'm very very thankful I'm not able to. Think it's time these freaks get a tattoo warning label on their foreheads, the damage they inflict is nothing less than criminal!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry right now... .I'm settling on both, at the same time.

I prefer to laugh because in reality they are digging yet another grave for themselves and we are not jumping in with them. My ex would love to watch me suffer, no compassion, no empathy, no values, no morals, no conscience.

What's left?

yeah I know, but more than a year of headgames, of sleepless nights, of fights, of worrying, of trying to do the right thing. And it was for nothing from the start.

And yes, she is clearly a moral cesspit and no she could never break me. In fact over the time I've got stronger and dealt with her better and better. But you know when you think you might just win the game and then realise it was rigged from the start?

It kinda feels like that now :)

That about sums it up... , mine borrowed a suitcase from me to go visit his mother with  cancer out of state- yet he never left and she did not have cancer!  He said he needed a break from me when I caught him at work! They are very good actors. Not right... .

I fall back on what we nons can do and how we can change our lives. I do walk around with shame for lowering myself to the point of ever being with my ex. People told me how she would treat me but I had to learn myself. She is a master manipulator and I was the naive nice guy. No excuse but these people are on a different level.

I knew the day would come I had to kick her out, I didn't want to face that pain. It had to happen and it did, I won't go back. She's tried contact when she's had doughts with her new bf. She will burn him down soon enough. My councelor told me years ago that one day she will really need me and I won't be there.

Sadly that day has been repeated more times than I can remember to count.

I saved her and my son's life when he was 3 months in her womb from her abusing opiates, what did I get for it? She told the damn doctors I gave her the pills!

Someday my son will hear the truth about her bs, and she posts on fb that she needs to write "her story"

Seen her story and lived it, nothing but lies and self harm. That makes for great book sales.

You know I did talk some things through with the therapist and said I was just amazed they put so much effort into such small gains. I didn't even realise how much effort it was back then. My thoughts were if they could channel this creative genius into something good, they'd be just stunning people. They'd be game changers.

But he said they never do, they squander it on such small plans.

Oh I agree, my ex was brilliant and I seen her potential, I tried to bring her to realize it but in their world they for some reason choose to be the cartoon super vilian. Maybe their inner pain and turmoil won't allow them any other choice?

My ex was so cruel and emasculating, she asked me one time if I were gay, this after getting her pregnant?

She definitely hated herself and these moments revealed her true nature hidden under the makeup and fake smile.

Thank god you got the whole story now! Thanks for posting. It reminds me of what we are all dealing with.