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A few weeks ago I knocked over a glass of wine on the comforter. I jumped up and started cleaning it up and decided to just put it in the washer, and put another comforter on the bed. My uBPDw didn't help and was very angry the entire time. I said I was sorry so many times. She then said "It is like if you were speeding through a neighborhood and you ran over and killed someones child. Just saying you are sorry can't bring that child back.". I thought to myself, yes it is just like killing a child. I accidentally laughed just a little. She said "Oh, I'm a joke to you?". The night was over.

Ah, been there, bought the t-shirt.

Haven't you spilled other things before? So you're a serial killer.

Yes! I dripped chili over my bowl on the counter. That was an issue as well. lol

Haha, I got a good laugh out of this. But seriously, is there something about BPD and clumsiness? Small accidents seem to enrage them.

I had a similar small accident recently when I dropped some food on the couch. My wife reacted with great exaggeration as usual and I quizzed her about why my small "mistakes" were so upsetting. Her response: "It's like if you were a pilot you can't afford to make mistakes because everybody dies. You need to do better."

Okaaaaay.

Oh, yes! When we do it, it equals the end of the world. When they do it, it happens like this (I am not making it up):

Yesterday my h took a bottle of his beloved beer from the fridge and it slipped from his hands and exploded on the floor. We were both tired from working in the garden, so it´s understandable. Only, his reaction was a bit sarcastic "Lovely!" Our son heard it and later told me that it sounded as if someone else was guilty for it. (I agreed with my son).

I didn´t tell my h a word, but I didn´t lift a finger to help him. He cleaned his mess by himself.

i experience a lot of this. It was an act of God, gravity must have had a sudden extra hard pull lol

CATASTROPHIZING (http://www.psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-catastrophizing/) is a common trait of BPD

As usual I think you hit the nail on the head waverider.

My wife actually had a rare moment of insight on this recently. She was reaching up to a high shelf in the kitchen to pull something out, and accidentally knocked down a big pack of cocoa. It exploded all over her head in a puff that covered half of the kitchen! For a moment she looked like she was going to fly into a rage, but i just burst out laughing and started helping her clean it up. Somehow that totally defused the situation. Anyway, she later thanked me for being so calm about it and said if the situation had been reversed, she might not have been so forgiving of me.

That is actually the understatement of the century. I would have been hung, drawn and quartered.

Hahaa... .thats happened to me before. Yes, it is the same as killing someone. Even though a washing machine will get rid of the stain.