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My T has referred me to a trauma specialist to do EMDR. My first appointment is today and I am VERY anxious and have been all week. I have done a lot of reading, so I have a pretty good idea of how it's done and what to expect, but I am afraid of two conflicting things.

The history of neglect and incidents my T considers traumatic, I don't really have any feelings about. They feel like stories that happened to someone else. I also understand that you need to visualize, both the events and a safe calming place. I have been working on this but I still am not able to see anything at all.

So my fears are one, that my feelings will unlock and I will be thrown badly and have a major breakdown, or two, that nothing at all will happen and that means first of all, that I will never get any relief from this crushing anxiety, and/or that none of this is really "trauma" and I just need to work harder to get it together on my own.

Unfortunately, something that should be giving me hope is pretty much increasing my normal anxiety to an unmanageable level. My appointment is in a couple hours and I am really feeling sick and shaky.

Does anyone have any experience with this to share? Or words of advice?

Thank you!

I don't have any input for EDMR.  I'm sure some experienced person will be able to comment on that.  I just wanted to share a breathing technique that helps me sometimes when I'm anxious.  I'm actually using it today. The directions are below:


The 4:7:8 (or Relaxing Breath) Exercise

• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.

• Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.

• Hold your breath for a count of seven.

• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.

• This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

I do EMDR! I have a session in a few hours, but I do it with my psychologist. She has a board with lights on it that you track with your eyes.  I felt the same way about the trauma, but you are blind to toxicity when you grow up surrounded by it.

I personally love emdr. My inner children seem to like to process everything through physical energy, so I don't get any painful memories or any negative physical reactions. If you reaction is too strong the therapist will slow the pace. I have only dissociated once during emdr.

EMDR didn't work for me because I didn't have enough resources. If you trust your therapist, then it should be fine.