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I can only describe it as a disco ball of tiny mirrors and each tiny mirror represents the strength of my thinking about the truth of an aspect of the relationship - all seem plausible but it just depends on the angle I look at it or what day it seems to be. It is like a complex maze or puzzle - it's exhausting I need it to stop. I think my problem this weekend is ive not had any set plans - which i was looking forward to until i saw that sodding picture on facebook. Which was weird as ive been sleeping fine and the night i couldnt and was getting intrusive images of him with her - i check and he had put a pic up - lots of supernatural - esoteric things have happened in this relationship

Hey cb, Ruminating is exhausting and, in my view, you will never get to the bottom of BPD.  I'm a smart guy and am used to overcoming challenges, yet BPD proved too much for me.  I suggest that you press the ":)elete" button in your mind when you start down this hall of mirrors.  Sometimes I say it out loud, if necessary, then consciously shift my thoughts to something positive.  You might experiment with this technique.

LuckyJim

Hi cherryblossom,

I agree with Jim that ruminating is exausting and that you won't be able to make sense of all of it when it comes to mental illness and there will come a day where you'll stop thinking about your loss.

It sounds like you have the right idea with planning things. Do you work out? I find that I feel a lot better, I feel centered and my thoughts are much clearer after a work out.

Thanks so much guys 

Good advice

I have literally been planning stuff to do with every spare minute since the split and I was looking forward to a weekend of nothing, but I hadn't encountered seeing that!

It was an experience, I'm processing it, this site has been so useful this weekend. I thank everyone! I started so many threads on so many tangents but it all helped!

HI there,  wanted to share a little tip with you that works for me when my mind starts racing.  It's very simple,  take a deep breath and exhale,  then say "one" in your mind,  repeat and say "two" and repeat until you have taken 5 deep breaths.  I know this sounds kind of hokey  but I have had to turn to it a lot in the past few months and it really shuts off my head,  it's especially effective when you are woken in the middle of the night with ruminating thoughts.  This technique is actually practiced to warm up for meditation,  give it a shot.

 |iiii

Yes back to basics and breathing to stay grounded thak u mm

I think its about distraction... .I played loud music for the first time in ages today on the way to work... .it really lifted me and reminded me of the old me... .I was happily distracted :)

Yes! Cb love that it's a great feeling - downloaded some banging uplifting house tunes and drum n bass for 2moro! ✌i do lot of driving for work