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Title: today I stood my ground ... Post by: Chelsea 69 on May 03, 2016, 03:25:20 PM Last week I ask my BPD if it was OK to take our child to his first football involving his our favourite team which ment his staying an extra night this is after I agree this week he could stay an extra night giving his mother more time to work on my replacement. To cut a long story short on returning our son back I was told two nights is long for her .mmm so was told I couldn't take our son to watch football after all ... upset angry to say the least I left before I said something I might regret. .nc since then until till today I have 6 miss called on number with held knowing it was my BPD controlling contact even now it rang I answered right on que the first words were you can take him for two night now ... oops sorry already made other plans ... what do you mean you have plans ... the best part she comes out with when we're you going to tell me ... .hold on you told me Saturday that he was not going ... .blame well we all no who got that ... got to laugh she now tells me she has things to do so you can have him as much as it's pains me inside I reply sorry he is your son as you tell me more than I dare to say ... so when the time comes when you realise he's my son to and treat him as such then we can come to some arrangement until then we have no reason for contact. ... it may look or seem harsh on my son but that's what he is my son not a toy or weapon I'm in a lot of hurt writing this post and hoping not to be judged as a man walking away from my resopabilitys cos that is the one thing I'll never do
Title: Re: today I stood my ground ... Post by: once removed on May 04, 2016, 10:36:01 PM hi Chelsea 69
this is a tough situation and i dont think anyone here would judge you as a man walking away from his responsibilities. its no easy task to set or maintain boundaries with a person with BPD, especially when your child is caught in the middle. have you had the opportunity to read up boundaries? you can do so here: BOUNDARIES - Living our values (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0) BOUNDARIES: Case studies (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=132527.0) there are no silver bullets or guarantees, but there are ways to better navigate the difficulties of coparenting that can make the situation more manageable. you might also consider discussing your situation on our coparenting board, which you can find here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=9.0 |