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i have had a clash of opinions with my BPD. some know it all recommended medical marijuana as the cure. the red lights in my head went berserk. i pointed out all the negatives, which she adamantly opposed saying it is only applicable to addicts. i retorted by saying that she should be aware by now that she does have a problem being compulsive and have trades of an addictive personality and pointed to her excessive gambling habit. she attacked my drinking habit even though i have not used alcohol in any form for the past 6 months. i pointed it out and she then said i am a pill addict. because of a severe back injury i am on pain pills and sleeping pills that may lead to addiction, but i only take it as needed.

in her defense she then started digging up every little mistake i have made. i know this is a common trade so i ignored her tirade . i did what i always do when she starts an episode, lit a cigarette and made coffee and refused to continue the topic.

Sounds like you pointed out the reality, but resisted reacting to the retaliatory barbs without getting sucked into defending yourself, so thats a good thing.

Even if she rebukes your opinion, she would have heard it, she may, or may not take it on board in due course. By not pushing it or engaging in arguing about it you are not diluting or allowing the point to be diverted.

Do not underestimate the ability of a pwBPD to hear a point,and remember it, even if they dont, at least initially, admit to it.

You had your say, but the choice is hers for better or worse

I wanted to offer my experience with this subject as my husband feels that medical marijuana is his saving grace. To be clear, it's not a fix all and it never will be. But the pros outweigh the cons for me at least. My husband has pretty severe PTSD and has had a lot of therapy for it EMDR and it didn't help a whole lot. I've seen him sober and one of the things that he really struggles with is that he can't shut his brain off so he tends to get obsessive about things, anything, you name it and he will obsess about it in some way. He needs a distraction to what he is thinking and that's why he tends to obsess. When he uses the MJ it slows everything down for him, it makes him calmer and it makes him much more enjoyable to be around. He can also think clearly while on it which is something you wouldn't think about but for people who have racing thoughts slowing things down can be wonderful. He tends to be more social, more outgoing and happier in general. It helps him sleep and also makes him not have nightmares. I watched a study about why it stops PTSD nightmares. So if your wife has any kind of PTSD, it could be helpful to her.

One of the cons of Marijuana is that it can make someone lazy and that is true although my husband was lazy before he started using.  I think the biggest thing to worry about is if for some reason she doesn't have it. She would go through withdrawls just like any other drug. Now the with drawls for a normal person are basically insomnia/nightmares, agitation and anxiety for a few days. Someone with BPD struggles with insomnia/nightmares, agitation and anxiety on a normal day so it's like amping it up x10. For me the nightmares were probably the worst part of it.

I don't have control over what my husband does, so I figure it would be helpful to hear from someone who's spouse does do it. My husband would tend to reach for alcohol a lot and he doesn't touch alcohol when he does the MJ. It's the lesser of two evils I suppose, I cringe when he drinks, lets just say that. The MJ is very tolerable for me at least.

Sounds liek MJ plays the same role for your H as valium does for my wife. She is slowing being withdrawn down from 16 x 5mg valium a day, now on 7 1/2, and struggles with being able turn off the racing obsessive thoughts as the dose drops. reason for the high dose was a change over from ongoing high xanax addiction.

Xanax and alcohol gave spiked affects, valium, and I guess MJ, give a more stable state. Ditto methadone over oxycodene, which she is also doing.

I guess the first line of coping is to stabalize the extremes

My husband was on Xanax years ago, terrible drug in my opinion very addictive. And he would drink on it which would cause black outs. I about left him several times and his doctor finally took him off of it.

He actually has a script for valium and doesn't take them very often now, only when needed, hasn't gotten it filled in several months. Valium isn't as addictive so it was certainly tolerable, it doesn't give the lifted mood effects that the MJ does but it does provide the relief from the obsessive thoughts.

In Australia Xanax is now on the restricted list for short term crisis use only. A GP can no longer prescribe its ongoing use. I think the actual brand xanax is no longer available in Aus, only a couple of generics.

My wife had to go to a detox unit to swap from xanax (which she was massively abusing) in order to switch to valium, and now slow tapering down.

Ongoing Valium use is recognised as a depressant in its own right. Xanax gave the upper followed by withdrawal. Hence the reason it is abused.

It really is hard though, we would all like to see them off all these meds etc, but without them many are not strong enough to use power of mind to hold the demons at bay. Therapy obviously helps but it is a struggle for it to fill the requirement.