BPDFamily.com

Hello All

I have not written a new post in a while although I do check in and read all the other members posts.

I just felt the timing was right to give an update on DD16s progress in the state run RTC.

So she has been there for just over 6 months now and after a chaotic beginning and a few major incidents she seems to have settled into an even keel over the last couple of months. In March there was an incident of major property damage in the unit (i say unit but it is a house) involving my DD and another child. Charges were brought but are pending. There was a suicide attempt where she intended to jump off a bridge. There were other less significant issues also but I wont get into them now.

On the positive side she has gone back to education, taking a course. Although her attendance is poor, she is up early every morning whether she attends or not. She has made some friends in the local area (it is not a lock down unit, she has free time) and has met a boyfriend who seems to be a good influence on her. He is a little older, has completed his education and works full time as an apprentice.

We had a meeting during the week. This was my first time seeing DD in 3 months. After the jumping attempt and the property damage our relationship went cold and I thought it best to step back and give us both some space and it has worked!

She was very cold with me at the meeting at first but afterwards we went for a bite to eat and did some browsing around the shops and she warmed up to me as the day went on. In the end I was getting hugs & kisses and it was lovely, really lovely. We had a great time, we talked and laughed and I felt closer to her then ever.

It was hard saying goodbye again and I saw tears in her eyes as she drove away with her key worker. I was upset too but I could not cry as I had to get on a bus! Im no good with public displays of emotion, from myself anyway :)

At the meeting it was decided that DD should stay in the unit until she turns 18. She is turning 17 this summer. There is a possibility of her moving on to a semi-independent arrangement when she is 17 and a half. I raised some concerns about this but was reassured that this would very much depend on her behaviour and how her coping skills develop over the next year.

Her psychiatrist was at the meeting, he expressed his view that DD still poses a high risk to herself and that he would like to continue to work with her on her coping skills and perhaps another DBT course ( she completed one at 14) DD was very resistant to this idea, saying that she already sees a drug counsellor(but this will cease in 6 weeks) and that she sees another counsellor at school. My feeling was that she didnt want to see the psychiatrist as I think she knows he has her card and that she will not be able to lie to or manipulate him. He impressed me with his insight. I read his report and in it he mentioned possible diagnose of "ODD or emerging personality disorders" although it did not mention BPD specifically. This has me a bit worried if Im honest because Im thinking will she develop something like ASPD. It leaves a number of possibilities open in my mind.

I should mention that DD has accepted and is now actively seeking to stay in her placement until she becomes an adult. She has realized that coming home would mean coming back to this town and she is genuinely afraid of what would happen, as  in getting back in with the old crowd. She said to me on the phone that night that she dreads so much having to say goodbye to me again and that she wants to be with me but just not in the town I live in. Which raises the question, if I were to move to another place, could she return home to us.?  Ive given it some thought but I dont think that can happen. What if i were to move and things went back to square 1. She is making progress where she is. Also is it fair to take my LO away from her school, friends and father? If my DD were younger i would be gone out of here in a heart beat but as she will be an adult soon, I think she will be paving her own path in life soon enough. As i said at the meeting, I will be her for her, our door will always be open to her and she knows all of this.

She is still smoking marijuana but is doing some harm reduction counselling.

Baby steps, I guess.

Apologies if this turned into a book lol

Infinite Eyes x

Hi! I've been thinking of you guys and wondering how everything was going!  The rollercoaster ride is unreal isn't it?  But it sounds like things are on the right track, so hopefully things will continue to improve.  Keep us posted and good luck!

Thanks for the update infiniteeyes,

Your d has quite a lot of freedom considering she is in Residential Treatment.  Even so, she is showing signs of progress and that is very good!

The diagnoses of ODD and Emerging Personality Disorder very closely matches the dx my d had at age 12.  It is a complicated combination to treat.  I too was concerned that my d would devolve and be considered ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) as the stats show the projection from ODD to ASPD to be worrisome.   It turns out that she did not devolve with much credit to Falcon Ridge and their program of accountability (PPC, Positive Peer Culture).  Also to Falcon's credit, she did not go on after RTC to meet the criteria for BPD once an adult.  Intense treatment at an early age is the best predictor for a positive result.

Staying close to your daughter while in treatment is preferable to taking her out of the program.  Learning alongside her the coping skills she is learning and being able to model them for her is a win win for everyone as you will be a source of skills, support, and accountability as she lives in the real world.

While I see your d's point that she wouldn't want to return to an environment where drugs and people are synonymous I would not uproot other children to accommodate your d's weaknesses.  She will soon be an adult and will live where she chooses to live, befriend who she chooses to befriend and be fully and knowingly accountable for it as she has been through long term treatment.

Wherever we go, there we are.

With hope for continued progress,

lbjnltx

Sounds like things are heading in the right direction infiniteyes,   looking forward to hearing how things move forward xxx

Thank you all so much. It is nice to hear that you all think things are moving forward too.

There are two types of residential units here, secure and open. The one my DD is now in is an open unit. To be placed into a secure unit there has to be a judge involved. There was an application made for secure care but as my DDs behaviour has improved the application will not be used.