BPDFamily.com

Hello peeps!

It's been almost 3 months since I broke it of for good. I knew it was for the best, I found myself in a constant state of depression/anxiety, which is not how you should feel in a happy r/s. For the past 2-2½ month she's done EVERYTHING she could to get me back... .Lovebombing, threats, you name it. We work together so I have to face her daily, which doesn't really help. She's been harassing me at work, cornering me, explaining her love, "let's give us one final shot" etc. I've been firm all the way. And I've actually been somewhat happy the past 2 months, even though I've had my downs.

Now it seems like she's finally understood. She realized that it's useless, and she's basically been giving up. She just gives me this sad, kind of bitter look when we see eachother. Not a look of resentment, but kind of a "what could have been-look". Which hits me hard in the gut. Also, one of my best friends (which is also a good friend of hers), who really pushed me to break it of with her as it wasn't healthy for me, has started saying things like "are you really sure you don't want to be with her anymore? She seems alot more stable these days and she still really likes you... ." Which REALLY throws me of. These thoughts of "maybe she really is more stable now? I mean... .She recently broke of with her ex when we started dating. Maybe THIS time?". Even though I KNOW these are just feelings, they doesn't reflect the reality of the situation.

Please help me stay strong.

hi krax 

if it were me, id politely tell this friend that you would prefer not to discuss your ex, for the time being, or otherwise. i am sure he is well intentioned, but he put himself in the role of rescuing you from your relationship, and now hes putting himself in the role of rescuing your ex. its confusing for all parties, and its effecting your decision making process.

to get a better feel for the dynamics at play, you might have a look at this: Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle   (https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle)

Be strong! Keep up the good work and stay away from her. Borderlines don't change because they don't have to, their great looks and captivating charms allows them to seduce people which feeds their  narcissism. Remember that BPDs primarily look for narcissistic supply in a relationship and for them you are just a piece of meat, an accessory that is required. No contact sends the loudest message that you have moved on and she won't matter for you anymore (even if she still does). For the borderlines it's not the one who loved them more or best that stands out ~ it's the one they couldn't control and conquer. Decide to be the exception. Stay zero contact with her.