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Title: Broke NC again Post by: JerryRG on May 20, 2016, 04:09:28 PM Hello everyone
I am strong enough today to deal with my exgf and resume my visitations with my son. I sent screenshots of the convo with the ex and her accusations of attacking her to my sons grandma and she wasn't happy with me. I may be wrong but I wanted her to have the proof so she knows I'm not lying. Thank you all for helping me get the strength to face her and learn how to not let her bother me. She will continue to play her games but I know it's her mental illness. After speaking to her pastor 2 days ago he confirmed everything I knew and my son will be with me full time soon. He knows she's severely mentally ill and her bf is too. I'm nervous but optimistic Title: Re: Broke NC again Post by: drummerboy5 on May 23, 2016, 05:41:59 PM Are you going for custody?
Title: Re: Broke NC again Post by: Herodias on May 23, 2016, 06:03:53 PM Maybe you should have a talk with her Mother and ask her not to share what you tell her with your ex as it only makes things more complicated. My exes Mother figured out it was best that he didn't know everything. Come up with a plan. I am sure the Mother saw what you sent and reamed her out for it... .now she is going to try and make you look bad. I do know why you did it- I understand wanting to be understood and wanting them to know you are telling the truth. Sorry it is such a complicated mess... .hopefully you and the Mother can become allies and make a plan. Does she know about the other family that she is giving your son too? It could be she has a family member or friend that is a babysitter or something- I would want to know.
Title: Re: Broke NC again Post by: Mutt on May 23, 2016, 08:03:37 PM Hi JerryRG,
I can understand why we'd want to defend our character with friends and family, BPD is a persecution complex and the person believes that they're problems are caused by outside circumstances. It's not easy, but it gets easier with practice, it also helps to read as much as you can on BPD psychopathology to depersonalize the behaviors. Your ex is going to blame shift if she's reamed out by the mother, it keeps the drama going with a drama triangle. If we move to the center if the triangle that way we have elements of all the corners in the triangle with rescuer, persecutor and victim. If we don't take either side with the mother and ex the payoff is our emotional well being, self protection, keeps our values intact and it helps with our detachment. Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle (https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle) Title: Re: Broke NC again Post by: JerryRG on May 23, 2016, 09:14:06 PM Thanks everyone
Yes I was trying to defend myself because grandma is rational and she did say just ignore her daughter. I will watch this in the future and stop the triangle. Yes I want full custody drummerboy5, if my cancer got worse at least I could find a good home for my son. I don't trust my ex for obvious reasons. |