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Been no contact for a week. I got a call from my ex that she is severely suffering from our break up.  I moved out of state to get away from the madness.  She clames the is in dbt and it's not working so far.  She says the BPD /pd clinic wants to give her a brain scan to better treat her disorder.  Her health insurance does not cover this test.    I say claimed because I do not believe a word she says.

I have two distinct questions. First, does anyone have experience with brain scans in BPD. Do they uncover anything that improves treatment and outcomes.  Secondly, would you pay for her test.  I have already given her significant financial support only to be lied to and manipulated further.  All comments are much appreciated.

Well, if I did pay for it - it would be to the hospital- not her. I think they can do scans to see if there is an issue with the amygdala or something else that could be going on. Depending on how bad she is... .some people with severe issues can be caused by a tumor. Usually that is more of schizophrenia symptoms. It's great she is trying to help herself. I would talk to the clinic if this is something you would consider. My ex would always want me to call and talk to whomever he was telling the truth about... .if it was a lie, then he wouldn't want me to research it. You could ask for her clinic name and have her give them permission to talk to you. Let us know what you find out- if there is something, it would be interesting. My understanding though is that the brain shows sociopath/psychopath tendencies and not Cluster B's... I could be wrong though. I think I read that there is a mix up in the way the brain functions in the sociopath/psychopath... .could they want to see if she has that?

Herodias- I have often questioned if she is psychopath - alleged criminal activity- compulsive liar- lack of empathy.  She will not give permission for her therapist to talk to me.  I want to be done- think this is atactic to draw me back in. It's working.

Don't let it work. If she will not let you involved with the clinic then that is your excuse not to help financially... .not that you need an excuse. That will at least get her to stop asking, by putting up a boundary. I know, mine is BPD, NPD and Anti-social as well. I read we should not get caught up in the exact diagnosis... .as they are starting to put them in one big category... .At this point there are 2- cluster b and anti-social. I feel like the difference is whether or not they have extreme emotion (BPD) or none. Both can have lack of empathy, criminal activity, lying and violence. It's really difficult to know the difference.

I would not get involved.

You are NC.  Remember FOG?  She's using fear - fear that there is a neurological, solvable problem that can fix her and that without your intervention that she will not get help - and obligation to manipulate you.  She wants to know that she can still elicit a response from you.  That she can still pull strings and make you react.

Don't break NC.  Don't let yourself be taken advantage of.

If for some reason you are sucked back in, pay directly to the hospital only.  You aren't here to finance her post-breakup party.