BPDFamily.com

So I just wanted to shout out bpdfamily for some great advice about how to deal with paranoid delusions. Basically the advice I got was to try and focus on the feelings behind the delusions.

My cousin who has a PhD in psychology confirmed with me that was the best thing to do. And she also added that acknowledge the delusion one time don't keep harping on it but try my hardest to identify and validate the feeling behind the delusions.

Baby this worked like magic! My pwBPD responded so well to this. And get this a few days later he actually apologized out of the blue for having delusions about me. And even said he is struggling so hard to feel worthy inside. I was like wow!

I can't believe that we are finally having a normal relationship... .well as normal as being in love with someone with BPD can get lol.

I know I'm I for an adventure but it's getting better... .so thanks bpdfamily for the advice!

So what, in your estimation, is the core emotion driving these delusions?

His emotions are definitely rooted in fear of abandonment, low self esteem and overall feelings of worthlessness. He actually admitted to me that deep down inside he knows I'm faithful and loyal he just finds it hard to believe that he's worthy of such a thing (breaks my heart  :'()  And I think the delusions just help to justify those intense debilitating feelings. It's almost easier to believe something that's not real then to deal with feeling you are nothing and worthless. Most of us wear our emotions like clothes. If we don't like the outfit we just can take it off and put something else on. But people with BPD struggle to do that, they think they are the emotion like it's a part of their body. So he's not just FEELING worthless he believes he is an utterly worthless person to the core and can't ever change that outfit... .thats so sad to me.

So I can empathize easily with that because I've struggled with those same feelings most of my life. Also he's been in past relationships where he has been cheated on, in fact the trauma started at birth. His father was married with a child on the way having an affair with his mother. So hes the product of indefinitely. Which have lead to serious trust issues about women. This really helps me be more objective and less offended when he dyregulates because it's really not personal. His issues began long before we ever met.

Anyway all the dbt skills advice on here all i've read and resesrched actually really work! So I'm just gonna keep at it! And I'm eternally grateful. Thanks again... had my doubts about bpdfamily... .but doubts are cleared.