BPDFamily.com

I was dating this girl for a few months and in the beginning it seemed very wonderful we met on the train happened to get off the same stop then exchanged numbers that night. We went out on a couple of dates and she mentioned to me how she was being abused in the past by her father and in other relationships she then began to call me her savior and that I was different from other guys also she mentioned she was  hesitant to be with me because she said she came with baggage(WISH I LISTENED). I then felt great being with her she spent a lot of time at my house we slept with each other numerous times I thought I actually found the one I should be with due to her great conversation and her extended need to listen to what I had to say. After 2 months pass and I am feeling really great I noticed how she started acting she began picking arguments with me out of no where for no particular reason at all it seems and it was always my fault. i went from being the best person in the world to the worst person in the world. This off and on arguments went on for about a month and a half until I finally decided to let it go. She called me back recently with an intention of getting back together she was indeed upset and felt that there is something wrong with her that she could not explain as I started to read an article on BPD I realized that she most likely has it and now I do indeed miss her but am not sure how to even approach her. I am also even wondering if any of her feelings for me was actually genuine or was it all just a game.

Hello and welcome!

I highlighted some things that echoed my own, and probably many others, experiences.

I was actually in this sort of dilemma last year when my ex broke up with me in May. This was about 5 months into us dating. I did maintain contact and hung out with her and we eventually reconciled in mid-July. Things were good again until early August when she slipped into her emotional tantrum again, but was quickly rectified when she helped me move to another (the same city as her) city.

I took everything cautiously until she brought up the topic of marriage in October. We were eventually engaged this past February. Again, things starting to look shaky in mid April. The same argument about how she can't do relationships. The same old rhetoric about how my apparently negative attributes were the deal breakers, etc. And here we are, things finally resolved two weeks ago (maybe).

In short, these people's feelings are genuine. They genuinely love you when they do. They also genuinely despise you when something triggers them. Facts don't matter because their perception, their feelings, make up their decision process when it comes to relationships.

Knowing this, do you wish to continue to pursue her? If so, better read up on how to deal with her.

We are not professionals, so we cannot diagnose. Said this... ., it seems very clear she exibiths the typical BPD patterns when it comes to relationships.

Indeed, every BPD relationship starts with a huge idealization of the new partner, where they think to have found their "saviour"; however, over time reality inevitably kicks in - obviously we are not perfect - and at some point we are horribly devalued. Very typical (and dysfunctional) for BPDs.

I suggest you to read the material available in this website, it will give you a good piece of knowledge about the disorder (and the underlying dynamics).

Hi.

Something else about texting, i could be wrong.

my ex was awful in social situations. She camt read people at all. Her mirroring could also ger ridiculous.

So by texting she can be anything she wants. Dosemt have to risk being found out about being false. In tbe past before the lies we'd use each others phones. In hindsight she would be completely different depending on who sje was texting. Completely different personalities. Even to tbe point of totally different interests.

I guess this is her desperately trying to be accepted by being false.