BPDFamily.com

Hello,

I see many people claim that the BPD partner/friend/relative left and detached super easily. However, in my case, he had been trying to keep in touch for months. is this unusual?

Who did the leaving? If you did, that could be the reason. They could also not have found a replacement yet... .

I did, but he already had close friends to fill the gap and help with the loss... .After a replacement is found, it's all over?

Yes... .at least while they have the replacement... .when there is a question with the replacement they may try and recycle you, but just to keep you hanging around just in case... .best not to engage. I made that mistake. Only made things linger longer. Once they feel it is over with you, that too much has happened and it's best not to go back... .they won't. If you take them back, they think less of you for doing so. It's a lose-lose situation. They still can come back years later when they think you should have forgotten all the bad behavior and they can start it over again. At least that is my experience and it seems to be very similar here... .

Another thing is that they have no history of lots of ex-lovers or overtly drinking. That's the most that makes me not 100% sure they have BPD. Is it still possible to?

I'm asking because my bf is saying this person has BPD, but trying to see if it's the case or if he's projecting (he has the above traits).

My ex tried overtly drinking before, she didn't keep going because she always blacks out with bad hangovers later. As for ex-lovers, I know I was the 3rd guy she's engaged to and the 4th long(er) term relationship at her age of 25 (26 in October). That's 3 engagements in 7-8 years.

As for promiscuity, no. She was brought up in a conservative manner and we were each other's first physical relationship (I don't need to go into details about how I knew she was a virgin). Now, I wouldn't know. She could be starting to sleep with other guys now because that barrier has been broken down, and the fact she's mentioned IUDs during our breakup process.

Why would you really care for BC when you are not planning on sleeping with people in the near future?

Even if this were true (see bold) it is not necessarily indicative of BPD.

They do not have to have these habits to be BPD. Look up what the traits are... .they have to have 5 of the 9 qualifications I believe. I know of some that do not cheat and that do not drink, but have other self destructive behavior.