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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: unicorn2014 on May 31, 2016, 06:53:43 PM



Title: I heard from both my parents this weekend
Post by: unicorn2014 on May 31, 2016, 06:53:43 PM
My dad emailed me twice, sent me a picture of a painting and its description as well as the story of their visit to the museum and then he sent me a family photo of their wedding, of which I was present at.

My mother's card came as a surprise. When I opened it it turned out to have the $100 my dad said he would give me until August along with "get a job".

It is highly ironic that my grandmother was 100 times more kinder then my mother and my mother vilified her. My grandmother having been married and divorced three times knew the hardships of single parenthood and never once judged me for needing financial help after my divorce. If I didn't need the money I would send the check back but I do need the money, that was the whole problem in the first place, my grandmother's money had gone into figuring out my rent and when I lost it due to the lawsuit my rent was not adjusted accordingly.

I invited my mom to meet me at the museum this Thursday for a lecture, just like I invited my dad, but they both ignored me.

My parents are NOT good for my self esteem AT ALL.

My mother thinks I was supposed to raise my self and find my own way to happy and rewarding career and that my daughter is supposed to raise herself.

I've learned not to even respond to her provocation but it still hurts. It hurts knowing there's nothing I can do to change her but i get it now, I accept it, I've stopped fighting, I've given up.

I feel sad.



Title: Re: I heard from both my parents this weekend
Post by: Please help on May 31, 2016, 08:26:49 PM
Your parents are trying to hurt you for whatever reason.


Title: Re: I heard from both my parents this weekend
Post by: unicorn2014 on May 31, 2016, 08:33:39 PM
Your parents are trying to hurt you for whatever reason.

I don't think my father is trying to hurt me, I think my mother is and I know why. My partner  tried to help me by telling my father about my ptsd  and while that did result in me getting money to pay for my dental bill because he appealed to his narcissism   it also resulted in me getting humiliated by my mother yet again. My mother is very manipulative. Basically she  is telling me that I don't have a right to exist and that I should have raised myself and since I didn't whatever happened to me is my fault not hers. That couldn't be farther from the truth. They abandoned me as an adolescent and they blame me for not being able to make it on my own from there to a high powered career in whatever interested me. They expect me to abandon my teenage daughter the same way they abandoned me. I can't even talk to them about the latest and greatest with her, whether good or bad, they're not interested.


Title: Re: I heard from both my parents this weekend
Post by: Turkish on May 31, 2016, 11:36:39 PM
Ah, I may have read it the wrong way when I saw your post earlier. So the writing was your mother's?


Title: Re: I heard from both my parents this weekend
Post by: unicorn2014 on May 31, 2016, 11:56:07 PM
Ah, I may have read it the wrong way when I saw your post earlier. So the writing was your mother's?

I apologize, my father emailed me twice, and my mother, whom I had blocked on my phone, sent me a card. I was not expecting that. Then when I opened it up I realized she had ironically taken over my grandmother's duty which is quite twisted as she never liked my grandmother. I was expecting my father to send me a check from his mother. I am quite irritated my mother is the one who did it but I have not said a word to her about that. I simply thanked her and invited her to the museum this week. I'm still annoyed and I got the mail hours ago. I don't like sitting and spinning. I unblocked her to thank her and she responded IMMEDIATELY which I thought was also odd because sometimes it takes her a day to respond and other times she ignores me. I'd really like to give my mother a piece of my mind right now but I've learned not to do that.