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As I have posted several times, I have no contact with s9 between access visits. My T, a retired school teacher suggested I write to s9 and send the letter to his teacher in the school courier. I did this, emailed s9 teacher that I sent s9 a letter, she emailed back saying she will keep an eye out for it. I sent the letter in her name. Today my BPD/npd ex wife called, I try not to talk to her bc everything that comes out of her mouth is belittling. She text and said the school called her and wants her to talk to me, so I reluctantly called her. What she told me left me empty and drained. She said the school opened the letter, said it was a bizarre thing that I done and not to send any more letters to the school, if I want to send a letter send it in the regular mail to her home addressI feel pretty bad, pretty drained, I feel like a bad father. I have joint custody. I have every right as she does, the school has a copy of the court order. Why did the school not call me if they had a problem. It was a very short letter about s9 favorite u tuber. I called my T and she assured me everything my ex said was a lie, no school would do that. She taught my son's teacher. I had an app with a child T on Thursday and told her I sent s9 a letter and she thought it was a great idea. In fact she praised me for how I talk to s9 and the father and son things I do. But s9 mother says things like who does that or that's why you can't raise a child or any number of humiliating, belittling things about my ability to parent.

Does the school encourage classroom volunteers? Ever thought about volunteering? Your days or her days are irrelevant.

I feel your pain not seen s5 for three weeks now it's one thing hurting me but son as to suffer now. where does it end as I posted before I gave son a phone so he could get in contact not heard anything from him phone still of... f I've been to the school to voice my concerns about what is going on... the head was very helpful ... think the phone as trigger something which I've not face until now . I feel gutted and drained god only knows what she will be filling his head with just hope she come round soon son feelings should always come first surely even with the BPD

I'm sorry you are in the position that you have to resort to contact with your child through the school. 

It seems to me that if the school felt the way your wife says they do, they would tell you directly not pass a message on through your ex wife because they know you are estranged. That makes me doubt that the school said anything of the sort. You could clarify the situation with the school, then you'll know for sure.

Lifewriter x

There are no classroom volunteers. There is only 2 grade 4 classes, one English one french. There is hardly enough grade 12 students to have a graduation. I will contact s9 teacher on Monday morning. Bpd/npd ex wife was warned by the judge not to interfere with access, she will never stop, just dream up new ways.