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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Carlpiano on June 06, 2016, 12:15:49 AM



Title: Difficulty with ex-partner
Post by: Carlpiano on June 06, 2016, 12:15:49 AM
 My ex is diagnosed with BPD, as well as several other diagnoses, and it's almost as though he refuses to acknowledge that he even has these issues.  Although, he is on medication for each of his illnesses, and is fairly good about taking them as directed.  He is also bisexual, and left me, in April of this year, for a woman.  Interestingly, he is having difficulty with this woman. She only wants to be friends at this point, but he keeps pushing her for more than that. He just told me today that he is very confused and frustrated and doesn't know what to do,  and I don't know what I can do - if anything! - to help him. Quite frankly, I don't want to help him in cultivating a relationship with this woman!

So,  I suppose what I am asking for here, is basically some advice!

Thank you!

Carl



Title: Re: Difficulty with ex-partner
Post by: LilMe on June 06, 2016, 06:43:12 AM
Welcome Carl!  

Since this is the 'detaching' board, I assume you do not want to get back together with your ex?  If you do have hopes of reuniting, the 'saving' or 'improving' board would get you more pertinent advice  :)

I think most of us here on the detaching board find the best way to deal with our exBPD's is to not deal with them at all  :'(  I honestly do not think there is much we can do to help them.  Obviously we tried during the relationship and it didn't work out.  One of the factors that determines a personality disorder is the inability of the sufferer to acknowledge that they have a problem.  Sadly, you exBPD will likely never be able to accept the diagnosis.  You must have a very kind and compassionate soul to want to help him!

Maybe it is time you focused on YOU and what you can do to help yourself?  How are you feeling?  How are you dealing with your break up?  What are you doing to heal and grow from the experience?

This is a wonderful place filled with kind, helpful people.  I look forward to hearing more of you story.