BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone I've posted a few times and really appreciate the support. I'm wondering if anyone has links to resources I can point my family and friends to on how to support a loved one who has broken up with a BPD. I want to talk to then but I basically get the old "get over it" or "you'll be fine" they are supportive but basically think I'm way over the top and are not helping. Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

hi Venny,

im sorry to hear that friends and family are having a hard time understanding, being told to "get over it" can feel pretty invalidating. they probably mean well, but it is a very complicated, complex disorder, and its challenging to understand if you havent experienced it yourself.

im not sure theres any one resource that will cause them to "get it", but these might help:

Surviving a Breakup with Someone with BPD (https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/10_beliefs.pdf) (this may explain a lot of what you are going through and experiencing, particularly page 7 where "Now that you are separated" begins, and that you are not alone in what you are going through.

How a BPD Relationship Evolves (https://bpdfamily.com/content/how-borderline-relationship-evolves)

BPD: What is it? How can I Tell? (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=63511.0) theres a ton of good information here you can kinda cut and paste. scroll down and youll find this helpful video: https://bpdfamily.org/2010/09/video-what-is-borderline-personality.html


in addition to this, i encourage you to lean on this board. members here have or are walking in your shoes and we understand what you are going through 

Hi Venny,

*welcome*

I'd like to echo once removed, it's invalidating to be told to "get over it", your family and friends may mean well and maybe they don't know what to say. Keep in mind, it's difficult to empathize with someone with divorce unless you've gone through the experience of a divorce to really get it.