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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: JerryRG on June 09, 2016, 08:20:27 AM



Title: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: JerryRG on June 09, 2016, 08:20:27 AM
Dropped my son off this morning, she comes out in sweat pants hanging down exposing her under "things" and just has to inform me she didn't sleep well last night because she was all alone and it was too quiet... .Yeah, good luck with that. Lol

She's so strange, is that what I liked about her?

Oh who cares, lol

I'm sleeping like a baby and I'm not giving that away again.



Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: JerryRG on June 09, 2016, 06:06:41 PM
Manipulation, drama and chaos... .



Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: Mutt on June 09, 2016, 06:16:39 PM
I can relate with that. My exBPDw will complain about her finances and how many people that they have to take care of in her family. She made her choices and she wants sympathy. This will pass. I'm laser focused with keeping the dialogue on the kids and not on personal stuff. I nod, smile get the kids and leave. I keep it business like, switch on / switch off days. I don't respond to anything that wavers from that. Hang in there.


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: JerryRG on June 09, 2016, 06:20:03 PM
Me too Mutt, the one thing I have found that works for me is keeping my emotions out of our conversations. The robot thing. She's constantly searching for attention and flirting. I find her entertaining now that I'm detached. She's so predictible, I can breath again.


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: Mutt on June 09, 2016, 06:24:51 PM
I would feel insulted too. It can be hard at times to be emotionally detached early in our recovery. Keep ignoring her advances, think about what's best for your son.


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: JerryRG on June 09, 2016, 06:27:34 PM
Exactly Mutt! He comes first from now on. Poor guy didn't have much of a dad while I was breaking free from the BPD relationship but now that I'm out I have energy and clarity and I'm never going back on that rollar coaster again.


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: drummerboy5 on June 10, 2016, 09:02:45 AM
Jerry, kind of funny that the same woman that is now flirting with you is the same woman that accused you of rape? I'd stay the heck away from that as she could be setting you up for another rape accusation...


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: JerryRG on June 10, 2016, 09:14:07 AM
Indeed drummerboy5

She is very disordered and I'm careful to never be alone with her. She sure loves perading her bf in front of me. Or he's so jealous he can't trust her? What a team of strange and bizarre they make.


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: drummerboy5 on June 10, 2016, 09:17:05 AM
Indeed drummerboy5

She is very disordered and I'm careful to never be alone with her. She sure loves perading her bf in front of me. Or he's so jealous he can't trust her? What a team of strange and bizarre they make.

Good jerry! My T has warned me that if my ex starts to come around after my child is born this month to be very cautious as she could be setting me up. I'm staying the hell away unless it's to pick my daughter up and take her for awhile. I will not be going to moms and seeing my child in her mothers company lol


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: JerryRG on June 10, 2016, 09:21:56 AM
Yeah I hear you, I tried to see my son for the first 6 months before I was granted legal rights. His mother treated me like a fungus and made it impossible to be around her. Everything I did was wrong, one day I came in and my son was ill, I had a bottle of antiseptic hand wash with me and used it so not to make him worse. She looks at our son and says "J your dad is a f dumba**"

Yeah she's a sweetheart  

Correction!  She said I was FN insane!


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: drummerboy5 on June 10, 2016, 09:28:56 AM
Yeah I hear you, I tried to see my son for the first 6 months before I was granted legal rights. His mother treated me like a fungus and made it impossible to be around her. Everything I did was wrong, one day I came in and my son was ill, I had a bottle of antiseptic hand wash with me and used it so not to make him worse. She looks at our son and says "J your dad is a f dumba**"

Yeah she's a sweetheart 

Doesn't surprise me! I'm sure I'll get the same great treatment as you. Mines been on fb posting about toxic people controlling. I can't help to laugh as she was the controlling person lol she's a delusional mess and is always the victim. The sad thing is no one sticks up to her and they let her get away with it. Well I'm not the type that will just sit back and take her abuse anymore and I will calm her out on her bs because I'm not afraid of her anymore!


Title: Re: Exgf is giving TMI
Post by: JerryRG on June 10, 2016, 09:35:32 AM
I've been told to maintain peace at all cost for the child's sake. I have detached enough to not get emotionally hooked into my exgfs crazy behaviours. I'm a robot around her, deliberately turn my emotions off before being around her. It WORKS! Lol

We as nons have to stay in control because they cannot. Just focus on your child and yourself and ignore your ex as much as possible.

It does get easier with practice