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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: rendezvous04 on June 09, 2016, 12:42:19 PM



Title: Coping with the end of a relationship
Post by: rendezvous04 on June 09, 2016, 12:42:19 PM
This is my second post on here. My ex-boyfriend still contacts me even though he has said it's over. I still love him and can't get past the breakup. It's been almost two months. My friends say to just ignore him. My sister says give him time to come to terms with what has happened, and see if he get's help. He has BPD and his family is no help. I've read much on this topic and nothing I've tried prior to the breakup has done any good. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Title: Re: Coping with the end of a relationship
Post by: Raspberry on June 09, 2016, 12:58:13 PM
You're not alone. I'm going through the same thing, apparently it gets easier. Be gentle with yourself x


Title: Re: Coping with the end of a relationship
Post by: once removed on June 09, 2016, 05:40:17 PM
hi rendezvous04 and *welcome*

in order for us to give advice, it will help if you share more of your story and background with us. you mention that this person still contacts you. what is the nature of this contact?


Title: Re: Coping with the end of a relationship
Post by: rendezvous04 on June 10, 2016, 10:36:19 AM
I'm not sure this is where I reply to once removed. As I said in my first post, I'm having work done on my home. My ex thinks I'm dragging it out because  it has taken to long according to him. I've tried to explain but he just wont listen. This contractor has done work for me in the past, he is very good.  My ex sees this as an on going relationship and will not believe anything I tell him. He has been threatening to me and the contractor and the police have been called on several occasions. Then he posted that he will end his life and if he could get away with it, mine also. I believe this all to be drama. I have blocked him to the best of my ability but some how he still gets to text. He blames all our issues on the contractor. Don't know want to do next!


Title: Re: Coping with the end of a relationship
Post by: once removed on June 11, 2016, 11:14:29 AM
this is where to reply :)

i might be confused here; what does he have to do with the work youre having done on your home? whats his beef?

trying to explain the status of the work youre having done may be futile, because thats likely not the underlying issue, as you say.

you say he is threatening you. do you feel safe? calling the police in such cases, as well as documenting the threats are a good plan.


Title: Re: Coping with the end of a relationship
Post by: Rayban on June 11, 2016, 11:33:20 AM
From what I gather, sounds like your ex is jealous or threatened by the contractor. In my experience, extreme jealousy or paranoia of me cheating on her meant that she was simply projecting and she was the one doing the cheating. Any attention that she felt was taken away from her triggered abandonment. I spent hours pleading my innocence, meanwhile she deflected her own promiscuity.   


Title: Re: Coping with the end of a relationship
Post by: rendezvous04 on June 11, 2016, 01:02:04 PM
He has nothing to do with the work. He says that it could of been done in a few days and why am I letting the contractor off the hook for not doing so. I have a police man living next door and he is aware of all this. Yes I have documented all this and my family is aware. Is this a possibility as Rayban stated that he is jealous? When at one point I said he was, he denied it.