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Title: Me again Post by: Raspberry on June 11, 2016, 04:56:36 PM I was adamant that was it, no third chances. After 5 days of no contact with dBPD boyf and we are trying again. I still have so much hope for us (perhaps foolishly) but we are drawn together like magnets. He can make me the happiest and the unhappiesf girl in the world but he has never intended to hurt me, he has never been nasty on purpose. Throughout it all, he has loved. Although he says it will probably happen again, I sort of accept this as he has reassured me that it is nothing to do with me and he will always come back again. That I dont have to fear abandonment. I always knew I was mental but so is love. We just need to make it healthier and are talking of ways to go forward. Thank you for all the support these past few days x Title: Re: Me again Post by: waverider on June 13, 2016, 06:40:49 AM So what is going to be different this time?
Title: Re: Me again Post by: Raspberry on June 13, 2016, 11:32:52 AM Quote from: waverider link=topic=294894.msg12772268#msg12 772268 date=1465818049 So what is going to be different this time? Talking, talking, talking. Lots of talking. If I'm hurt I go into myself to protect myself and then the issue gets bigger. My mind creates problems and I feel abadoned and replaced. He is very self aware and accepting of his illness. When he was rational he assured me that he will always come back to me as I'm the girl he loves. I told him how low my self esteem is and how much I hate seeing him like other girls pictures on insta even though I know it means noting. Honesty and talking is the only way. I need to stop taking his illness so personally. I'm aware it won't be plain sailing but, by talking, I hope we can get through it together Title: Re: Me again Post by: C.Stein on June 13, 2016, 12:32:24 PM Quote from: waverider link=topic=294894.msg12772268#msg12 772268 date=1465818049 So what is going to be different this time? Talking, talking, talking. Lots of talking. If I'm hurt I go into myself to protect myself and then the issue gets bigger. My mind creates problems and I feel abadoned and replaced. Effective communication takes two. Is he up to the challenge? Are you? Sometimes it can be very difficult to put words to feelings and emotions. How are your Boundary (https://bpdfamily.com/content/values-and-boundaries) and Validation (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation) skills? He is very self aware and accepting of his illness. This is great! What is he doing about it? Title: Re: Me again Post by: Raspberry on June 13, 2016, 03:24:09 PM That didn't last long, we've gone to friends haha
Title: Re: Me again Post by: waverider on June 13, 2016, 05:54:02 PM Doesn't matter what he says, if you pick it up again hwat are YOU going to do, not just say, that is going to put boundaries around your values?
Do you need to consolidate your own boundaries first before even contemplating anything further? Title: Re: Me again Post by: Raspberry on June 14, 2016, 01:57:41 AM Doesn't matter what he says, if you pick it up again hwat are YOU going to do, not just say, that is going to put boundaries around your values? Do you need to consolidate your own boundaries first before even contemplating anything further? I've realised that I am worth more. He is lucky I was so understanding and should make me feel special not awful. If'd like to think we can be friend's as we still talk for hours and its how our relationship started. I actuslly feel sorry for him that he can't cope with feelings of love as that's sad. I deserve better! Stepping off the rollercoaster and I feel relief |