BPDFamily.com

Hello everyone

Just picked up a po from the court house to file against my exs bf. He spent 48 hours in jail a month or so back. I believe he's violent and he does not want my son around him or my exgf.

I'm now looking for advice on how to fill in the report in a manner the judge will appreciate and respect. I know judges don't like drama and games so I need to do this right.

I hope I can find someone who knows exactly what to say so they can help. I have access to a lawyer but he's not paid so it's his time.

I'm a little apprehensive because this will rest on the judges opinion and I just hope he does the right thing.

Wish me luck, I have to protect my son in every situation, no compromises.

Filled out and filed, just have to wait to hear from the court.

If you have any e-mails or texts messages that she has sent you pertaining to this save them! I wish I had a few more things saved as now I see that evidence means everything... .Good luck!

And they called, I was granted a temporary restraining order until June 27th court date to see if this needs to be extended.

Thank you Blue

Jerry,

You are being a good Dad, to step up for your son given all thrown at you. I used to be a Guardian ad Litem, with CASA. Can you ask for one for your son, they he will be represented through all this?

I am glad you got the PO.

Good luck to you with all this.

Hello Lilyroze

I'm not sure where to begin with all this, I don't know what you're offering me to ask for? Could you be more specific? Thank you

Hi Jerry,

Many times a child can be put in a situation where he needs legal representation apart from his parents or other concerned adults. In such cases, a temporary guardian ad litem is appointed by the courts to insure the rights of the child are honored. A guardianship lawyer is often used to facilitate the appointment and ensure that a suitable guardian ad litem is found. A child custody attorney may also be chosen as a guardian ad litem.

Purpose of a Guardian Ad Litem

There are many additional reasons why a court would appoint a guardian ad litem. Those situations include many:

Here is a few that might pertain to you

Divorcing parents seeing custody of a juvenile

When a child is in danger or has undue influence with someone with one of the parents the child is care of.

A guardian ad litem is mandated to help the child make decisions or receive correction and instruction apart from biased and frustrated parents, family members, or other caregivers.

If possible you could look into Fathers rights groups in your area they might have some free resources that can help with your situation or give you ideas.

This is a standard response to your filing.  You asked the court for protection in an ex parte application, meaning on your statements alone.  It is only temporary until the court can schedule a hearing where both parties can appear and each state their positions, reasons and documentation.  Once the court hears both sides, it will make a ruling, unless it or the lawyers (if any) can help you two to settle without needing the judge to decide.

Hello Foreverdad

I feel like I just started a war, I know this had to be done to protect my son, it is nerve wracking to think my son is exposed to violence. My sponsor told me the pattern of abuse isn't easily broken and to expect more in the future. My exgfs bf has a very lengthy criminal record including drug and alcohol use and robbery. I just want my son safe.

Be careful not to give the impression you're trying to block her parenting or parental rights.  (She may claim that.)

For example, I've seen posts where the member's Ex has stated plans to move away and they are preparing to oppose that.  Really though, a better way to phrase it could be like this, "I don't mind if Ex moves away, I just don't want our children to move away.  They stay.  If need be, they stay with me."  Court's focus needs to be primarily on the children, less on the adults.  (Disclaimer... .I am not a lawyer and so I don't know if that would work fantastically or fail miserably.)

So the operative strategy could be something like this, "I don't mind if Ex has a relationship with whomever, even a convicted felon and repeat offender, she's an adult and it's her life choice, however our children should not be exposed to a convicted felon and repeat offender.  They should not be exposed to unnecessary risks.  If need be, they stay with me."

Does that make sense?  We can't control the Ex, what's left is that we need to safeguard the children to the best of our ability.

Yes it does ForeverDad, there were questions in the file as to who I wanted my son to not be around, I didn't bring up anything about her being in a relationship, just that I didn't want my son exposed to violence. I don't care who she's with.