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Title: If he ever tries to contact me again I plan on sending this Post by: insideoutside on June 17, 2016, 09:36:13 AM All I ever wanted was to be your friend; I wanted to be somebody you felt you could turn to if you needed somebody to help you or listen to you; somebody independent away from any chaos. You became special to me again and I valued our friendship; you made me laugh and feel alive. I know that I said some hurtful things to you when I got frustrated, for which I apologised for, but your actions of cutting me off cut me to the core and hurt me deeply. I tried to reach out to you three times and each time was met with silence. I'm a strong character, however after being through the emotional mill a fair few times in my lifetime my self esteem and confidence has taken a huge battering and there's only so much rejection I can take. I eventually took your continued silent treatment towards me as a sign of punishment and utter contempt for me so i ceased trying to engage you anymore.
You promised me you would never abandon me and told me you thought we had been thrown back together for a reason. You also said that nothing would jeopardise our friendship. However at the first sign of me standing up for myself after more of your hot/cold behaviour regarding texting, you cut me off. I can't keep going through this. I care about you deeply and everything I told you I felt was real, but I've got to protect myself from any further hurt or pain as I've had enough of that to last me the rest of my lifetime. I was never enough for you 26 years ago and I'm still not and never will be enough for you now. It helped writing it down. Title: Re: If he ever tries to contact me again I plan on sending this Post by: Wize on June 17, 2016, 09:48:42 AM All I ever wanted was to be your friend; I wanted to be somebody you felt you could turn to if you needed somebody to help you or listen to you; somebody independent away from any chaos. You became special to me again and I valued our friendship; you made me laugh and feel alive. I know that I said some hurtful things to you when I got frustrated, for which I apologised for, but your actions of cutting me off cut me to the core and hurt me deeply. I tried to reach out to you three times and each time was met with silence. I'm a strong character, however after being through the emotional mill a fair few times in my lifetime my self esteem and confidence has taken a huge battering and there's only so much rejection I can take. I eventually took your continued silent treatment towards me as a sign of punishment and utter contempt for me so i ceased trying to engage you anymore. You promised me you would never abandon me and told me you thought we had been thrown back together for a reason. You also said that nothing would jeopardise our friendship. However at the first sign of me standing up for myself after more of your hot/cold behaviour regarding texting, you cut me off. I can't keep going through this. I care about you deeply and everything I told you I felt was real, but I've got to protect myself from any further hurt or pain as I've had enough of that to last me the rest of my lifetime. I was never enough for you 26 years ago and I'm still not and never will be enough for you now. It helped writing it down. Looks like something my BPD exwife would write. Just sayin. The abandonment, the poor me victim tone, the fake apology, never actually addressing the problems, the accusations, the attack on character. Title: Re: If he ever tries to contact me again I plan on sending this Post by: insideoutside on June 17, 2016, 09:51:20 AM All I ever wanted was to be your friend; I wanted to be somebody you felt you could turn to if you needed somebody to help you or listen to you; somebody independent away from any chaos. You became special to me again and I valued our friendship; you made me laugh and feel alive. I know that I said some hurtful things to you when I got frustrated, for which I apologised for, but your actions of cutting me off cut me to the core and hurt me deeply. I tried to reach out to you three times and each time was met with silence. I'm a strong character, however after being through the emotional mill a fair few times in my lifetime my self esteem and confidence has taken a huge battering and there's only so much rejection I can take. I eventually took your continued silent treatment towards me as a sign of punishment and utter contempt for me so i ceased trying to engage you anymore. You promised me you would never abandon me and told me you thought we had been thrown back together for a reason. You also said that nothing would jeopardise our friendship. However at the first sign of me standing up for myself after more of your hot/cold behaviour regarding texting, you cut me off. I can't keep going through this. I care about you deeply and everything I told you I felt was real, but I've got to protect myself from any further hurt or pain as I've had enough of that to last me the rest of my lifetime. I was never enough for you 26 years ago and I'm still not and never will be enough for you now. It helped writing it down. Looks like something my BPD exwife would write. Just sayin. The abandonment, the poor me victim tone, the fake apology, never actually addressing the problems, the accusations, the attack on character. Wow; are you saying I sound like a pwBPD? Title: Re: If he ever tries to contact me again I plan on sending this Post by: Wize on June 17, 2016, 10:21:44 AM All I ever wanted was to be your friend; I wanted to be somebody you felt you could turn to if you needed somebody to help you or listen to you; somebody independent away from any chaos. You became special to me again and I valued our friendship; you made me laugh and feel alive. I know that I said some hurtful things to you when I got frustrated, for which I apologised for, but your actions of cutting me off cut me to the core and hurt me deeply. I tried to reach out to you three times and each time was met with silence. I'm a strong character, however after being through the emotional mill a fair few times in my lifetime my self esteem and confidence has taken a huge battering and there's only so much rejection I can take. I eventually took your continued silent treatment towards me as a sign of punishment and utter contempt for me so i ceased trying to engage you anymore. You promised me you would never abandon me and told me you thought we had been thrown back together for a reason. You also said that nothing would jeopardise our friendship. However at the first sign of me standing up for myself after more of your hot/cold behaviour regarding texting, you cut me off. I can't keep going through this. I care about you deeply and everything I told you I felt was real, but I've got to protect myself from any further hurt or pain as I've had enough of that to last me the rest of my lifetime. I was never enough for you 26 years ago and I'm still not and never will be enough for you now. It helped writing it down. Looks like something my BPD exwife would write. Just sayin. The abandonment, the poor me victim tone, the fake apology, never actually addressing the problems, the accusations, the attack on character. Wow; are you saying I sound like a pwBPD? It just looks a lot like something my BPD wife sends. "You promised me you would never abandon me." All the guilt trip stuff; you said this, you did this, you left me, etc. Title: Re: If he ever tries to contact me again I plan on sending this Post by: insideoutside on June 17, 2016, 10:25:48 AM All I ever wanted was to be your friend; I wanted to be somebody you felt you could turn to if you needed somebody to help you or listen to you; somebody independent away from any chaos. You became special to me again and I valued our friendship; you made me laugh and feel alive. I know that I said some hurtful things to you when I got frustrated, for which I apologised for, but your actions of cutting me off cut me to the core and hurt me deeply. I tried to reach out to you three times and each time was met with silence. I'm a strong character, however after being through the emotional mill a fair few times in my lifetime my self esteem and confidence has taken a huge battering and there's only so much rejection I can take. I eventually took your continued silent treatment towards me as a sign of punishment and utter contempt for me so i ceased trying to engage you anymore. You promised me you would never abandon me and told me you thought we had been thrown back together for a reason. You also said that nothing would jeopardise our friendship. However at the first sign of me standing up for myself after more of your hot/cold behaviour regarding texting, you cut me off. I can't keep going through this. I care about you deeply and everything I told you I felt was real, but I've got to protect myself from any further hurt or pain as I've had enough of that to last me the rest of my lifetime. I was never enough for you 26 years ago and I'm still not and never will be enough for you now. It helped writing it down. Looks like something my BPD exwife would write. Just sayin. The abandonment, the poor me victim tone, the fake apology, never actually addressing the problems, the accusations, the attack on character. Wow; are you saying I sound like a pwBPD? It just looks a lot like something my BPD wife sends. "You promised me you would never abandon me." All the guilt trip stuff; you said this, you did this, you left me, etc. Insightful; I certainly don't want to sound like I have BPD or come over as the victim. Maybe not such a good idea to ever send it then! Title: Re: If he ever tries to contact me again I plan on sending this Post by: Wize on June 17, 2016, 11:15:44 AM Insightful; I certainly don't want to sound like I have BPD or come over as the victim. Maybe not such a good idea to ever send it then! You know, something I had to really grasp after I left my wife and filed for divorce was that she operates in a different reality than I and most people do. And as such, anything I say or write to her will be processed through her BPD-learned mechanisms of projection and denial. Everything I say will be perverted and twisted into something else. So what's the point? Communication with a pwBPD will most likely be a fruitless, frustrating endeavor. I've given up trying to convey anything other than B.I.F.F. I think you should consider that, while you may desperately want to convey how you feel to your ex, it simply isn't possible. He won't get it, at least not the way you intend. |