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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: JerryRG on June 18, 2016, 07:34:38 AM



Title: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: JerryRG on June 18, 2016, 07:34:38 AM
Got this text this morning around 5:30am

Jerry I nees to go too Avera. (Son) will have to go to dss so I pray u fight for him back for us because ur right... .I'm so worn out and all the abuse killed me and I'm starting there.  I will leave town around noon with (son) i called up there they said child care will help me from there... .I would rather hand him to you and a just praying for that.

Not sure what to do that is in the best interest of my son, I want her to give up her rights and get the help she needs without my losing my rights so I can take care of him.

She may just being trying to manipulate me or this is just an impulsive act?

This has to end for my son's wellbeing


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: GaGrl on June 18, 2016, 08:30:41 AM
What is Avera? An in-patient care facility? That could be very good for her.

Go get your son. Now.

You have her statement on text. Talk to your lawyer about how this now supports your situation of getting primary custody of your son.

She may be manipulating you, maybe not. In any case, she's being careless to document her situation on texts that you can use to show the instability of your son's current living arrangements.

Don't panic. Just go take care of your son. This time, consider not giving him back.


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: Panda39 on June 18, 2016, 10:54:57 AM
I agree, go get your son (that is what's best for him) and deal with her and custody later.  Give that boy the love and stability he needs.

Panda39


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: JerryRG on June 18, 2016, 01:18:28 PM
I have my son and he's safe, mom says she going to get help but that's not my concern. I will keep him and report this to Child Protection on Monday. She is not well, she posted on fb about "are magic spells real" her family responded with she puts too many stupid things on fb. I agree

She doesn't realize how her behaviours affect those around her including and most importantly our son.

Thanks everyone


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: Turkish on June 18, 2016, 02:06:25 PM
I have my son and he's safe, mom says she going to get help but that's not my concern. I will keep him and report this to Child Protection on Monday. She is not well, she posted on fb about "are magic spells real" her family responded with she puts too many stupid things on fb. I agree

She doesn't realize how her behaviours affect those around her including and most importantly our son.

Thanks everyone

They probably have a hotline. Don't sit on it over the weekend.


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: JerryRG on June 18, 2016, 02:24:01 PM
Thanks Turkish

I just called CPS and they had an answering service and said if this is an emergency to call the local law enforcement agency.

Offices are not open on werkends


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: Turkish on June 18, 2016, 02:35:57 PM
Thanks Turkish

I just called CPS and they had an answering service and said if this is an emergency to call the local law enforcement agency.

Offices are not open on werkends

Ok. Then you're following their protocol and your due diligence is documented.  :)


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: JerryRG on June 18, 2016, 02:37:46 PM
Stress, stress, stress, thankfully I have all of you to help or I would be in trouble


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: JerryRG on June 18, 2016, 04:47:16 PM
Called the local police office, they said document everything and have the texts printed out so the judge can see them. After I took my son she's been silent. I'm assuming mom just wanted a break and she wasn't serious about getting help at all. That's ok, she's just hurting herself and her custody of our son.

Thanks again everyone. Oh and Avera is the name of the major hospital in this area, they so have a behavioral health wing.


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: Turkish on June 18, 2016, 04:51:02 PM
Good. Remember that this isn't about fixing her (or being punitive), but this is about keeping your son safe and doing what's best for him. Remember BIFF when communicating with her, and keeping emotion out of it as much as you can.


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: JerryRG on June 18, 2016, 04:59:24 PM
I agree Turkish

She asked me what she should do and I told her it wasn't any of my business but that I was happy she wanted help. She mentioned how mean her mother is to her and I told her that her mother was in the middle of this and she's tired of the drama. It was us, not them.

She seemed sincere but that can change in an instant.

She asked me to come to her place and come inside her apartment, something I will not do anytime soon. Told me her bf was flipping out because I was there just to pick up my son.

Inappropriate again and she laughed at her bf.

I'm being unemotional and trying to limit my responses to yes and no.


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: JerryRG on June 19, 2016, 04:55:26 PM
Got a text from my son's mother just now:

"Can he sit with u for awhile because there's an investigation going on I will call u in a bit because I can't text about it but my house was broken into "

She thinks her bf has something to do with this? Doesn't this just prove once again how unstable and unsafe she is to have my son with her?

It's non stop drama and craziness


Title: Re: Son's mother giving him up again
Post by: Waddams on June 24, 2016, 10:59:15 PM
Just keep the boy.  If she wants him back, don't give him.  Is it possible for you to get out of town with him or something for a little while?  Or have some backup place to stay?  She has relinquished him to you, you can see she's clearly unstable one way or another, etc.  Best interest of the child is to keep him regardless of all else.

What's your paternity status?