BPDFamily.com

I wrote to my exes parents this morning and told them the divorce went well and it was done. That I didn't even recognize him with his beard! I told them I was sorry I haven't spoken in so long, but I was trying to get myself mentally healthy again. That he had really messed with my head. That I now understand allot of things they were trying to tell me. I told them I missed them and hope they were well. His mother wrote me back and said that she was so glad to hear from me. She hasn't known what to do, because she didn't want to upset me.  She said that I would always be a part of their lives. She said she was very happy for me and had a lot of respect for me. She would call me when she had some time. I tried to be very positive in my e-mail. I just wanted to say something... .it is not their fault their son treated me so badly. I do know that blood is thicker than water and I need to tread lightly, very lightly. I felt better saying something than not. I don't expect to be friends.  His mother and I were so similar and got along very well... .I don't expect anything really. I just wanted to say something to be kind as I have always been. It made me cry when she said she respected me for doing what I did. That made me feel good. I feel better for reaching out, for anyone that is in my shoes... .it can't hurt to be kind. I did tell them I feel like I have a psychology degree, lol But I told them I have learned allot and have grown and become a better person from it all. It's all good I think.

You are very gracious. I've been toying with that very idea.

I've thought about anonymously sending BPD material and a letter to my ex's parents. I decided it would be borderline harassment and inappropriate. They probably already know that she has issues. That's probably one of the reasons why they're so involved with the grandchild.

Blue, it sounds like your former mother-in-law understands your ex has issues. She also responded appropriately. I'm happy for you in that regard.

Thanks... .yes, they are very aware! His Father is more hopeful that he will get better. I sent them the walking on eggshells book a couple years ago. They weren't sure if that was the case.  I think because they aren;t aware of some of the stuff he does, it didn't resonate. The problem is that allot of these books blame the parents and that is hard for someone to accept if they feel like they raised their child right. I would not do it if your ex does not have a diagnosis. Mine was diagnosed personality disorder, but not which one. I am even more convinced he is BPD after seeing him in court with that beard and that western belt on... .the mirroring behavior is amazing. It was like he was in-between two worlds. The dress pants and shirt he had from me when he was more conservative like his parents and now his country motif apparel matching his gf from the mountains- similar to he ex husband! They prefer to not focus on the bad anymore she told me a year ago. Its literally making them physically ill.  She is worried about her husbands health and heart when it comes to him. They have to try and have peace. She told me that she wished peace for me and I had a chance to have a normal life , they would always have to deal with him. It's got to be heartbreaking for them.