BPDFamily.com

i went through the worst time of my life after breaking up with her for the 20th time. so much insecurity and not communication at all. the girl i once knew and loved had disappeared. she showed up after 6 months and i thought i would have some closure but i made a mistake. we slept together and she spent the weekend after with me. i asked he if she was seeing anyone because i didn't want to get involved if that was the case. when we were together back in the days she always pressured me about marriage. i was married before and i was going through a divorce while i met her. i told her once that i need a few weeks to clear my head and think about such a big decision. i found out that she had moved in at her exes house right away and i found that after a week when i went back to her and telling her that i am ready to give her what she wants because i wanted those things too. after that week i found out the hard way that she had contacted  my brother, my ex wife and a friend of me which she kept on accusing me of cheating on her. you can only imagine how i felt after me proposing to her to spend the rest of my life with her.

so she shows up and i ask her what she's doing here and she said she doesn't know but she wanted to see how i was doing and then she invited me for diner. stupid me i accepted and yes we did sleep together, i mean i still have feelings for her and i am very weak around her. i asked her if she was seeing someone and she looked me in the eyes and said NO. i didn't believe her after her friend called her and she forgot m on the thre way so i heard the whole conversation. i was so damn hurt from all the things that she was saying about me and then i found out that she is seeing another guy. i approached her ad told her that i heard the whole conversation and i would never talk like that about her and that i asked if she was seeing someone but of course she lied and said no. i snooped around her phone and found out that she was texting him while with me. what's to say that she hasn't done that to me too, and she did because i found pictures of her with him.  i still confronted her the next morning and gave her another chance to come but clean but of course she lied and then i told her the truth that i went through her phone and you better come out clean to your family and friends that i know them from over 3 years and they think i am a monster because of your lies. also u have to confront this other guy that you are seeing and tell him the truth. she of course flipped out and did not take responsibilities for her own actions, but i did write a letter to her friend and told her my side of the story, called the mother and i apologized if i have hurt them in anyway and told her my side of the story too, also contacted that guy too and told him if i knew that she was seeing you i would have never been with her. that stuff had happened to me. some of this people were sceptic and it's understandable because they only heard her cry wolf.

she blocked me and called my psycho but i didnt expect nothing less about her. Now i am hurt and this is not in my nature to do this type of behaviour. i was a very trusting a loving person and i believed strongly in boundaries and now i am on the same level as her. and this hurts as hell. i never loved anyone as much as her and please people help me out with anything to make me feel somehow sane. i just threw away 6 months of my hard work and i a back to square zero.

i really don't know where else to go since i am freaking broke from trying to make her happy and take her places but when i went down i got discarded yet again. she now blocked me and doesn't want anything to do with me because i am a psycho for showing her true colors.

i don't know what else to say or do but i can't seem to recognise myself anymore. i really saw myself being with her, having a house and family and now i don't know how to feel anymore... .