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I can not stop reading about Borderline Personality Disorders. The more information I’m reading, the side effects, I can’t help but think back on things my father has said, or has done. His ideas. How smart and amazing and on top of the world he always portrayed himself to be. Is that why I held him on such a high pedestal for all of my life? Was I believing his insanity? Did I actually buy into it? Has everyone else he’s ever met bought into it? All the women I’ve seen him in and out of relationships with over the years…they must have all thought the same things that I used to think. What a brilliant, inventive, and talented man, too bad he can’t catch a break and make it big like he always says he will.

Most of those questions are rhetorical, no need to answer, my brain is just totally baffled right now. I don’t know what to think.

 HI   charleyque 

Welcome to the BPD Family

.Good to see you peek in and post.  Is your father in your life right now?  Was his behavior different behind closed doors?  Can you speculate as to "why he didn't catch a break"?

The link below can help you look over the definition of BPD and BPD behaviors.  :)oes you dad have any of those behaviors?

INFO LINKS - IS IT BPD?

https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-borderline-personality-disorder

https://bpdfamily.com/content/borderline-personality-disorder

It sounds like there was a final trigger here.  Was there an event which finally prompted you to search for support?

That's how I began when the penny dropped. Not a bad way to begin your recovery from a BPD father. I also found this website very helpful for validation, as the outside world seamed to have a very limited understanding of BPD, and why shouldn't they. Here, people get it and also have quiet a deep understanding of all things BPD. And it's fee. So welcome to the site and feel free to share or ask questions if that's what would help.