BPDFamily.com

I dated a BPDgf last year. She was one of my first loves back in the 80s who resurfaced last year. Ended up that she is a has BPD.

Whether right or wrong, I yearned to have some sort of contact with my exBPDgf. I attempted to contact her a few times after we broke up with no results. My attempts were centered around seeing if my exBPDgf would consider being on cordial terms with me. Nothing more.

I recently met another fantastic woman and of course, like a sixth sense, my exBPDgf calls me out of the blue. We have a normal and rational conversation where we caught up on things and such. At this time, my relationship was quite young with this new, fantastic woman. Before we could get any further in our conversations (like who we are dating now), the exBPDgf tells me her dog has something in her mouth and needs to get off the phone. She mentions she will call back. Never happens. However, during our conversation, I tell her that I am in the process of moving home (where she lives too).

So right on cue, I get on the ground at "home" and she calls me (what's with this 6th sense?). The message is a little more or the nutty side but not too bad. I call back and leave her a message. She then calls back with a quite suggestive message. Then a few texts which I do not answer along with the suggestive phone call. Basically, we haven't talked since our first conversation.

I have zero interest in screwing things up with my new girlfriend and quite frankly would like to stop contact with exBPDgf. I thought about just calling her and explaining the situation but I am concerned that would make the "crazy" worse. I was hoping that NC, whether if she knows is intentional or unintentional is the way to go. I say unintentional because we always have had problems receiving/sending messages.

I downloaded a call/text blocker for the interim and have blocked her.

Better to stay NC and let her attention move elsewhere or be direct with exBPDgf about the situation and my unavailable-ness? Thoughts? In addition, Is it worth saying anything about the more recent messages to the new gf? IMO, no. Nothing constructive could come from it. So long as I don't pursue anything with exBPDgf, better to just move on. For the record, new gf does know about me and my exBPDgf first contact after one year of being broken up.

Well, you could start with "please do not contact me again" and see how that goes.  Telling her about your new relationship is not necessary and won't help.  If she keeps trying, you can block and delete messages, don't return them, if she does get a hold of you act bored, keep it short, don't engage emotionally.  Borderlines are all about attachments and if she perceives there is still some emotional attachment for you, she will keep trying, assuming she's looking to you to attach, for whatever reason, due to what's going on with her right now.  If she's in need of an attachment to help soothe emotions she can't soothe on her own, and you're not delivering that, she will look elsewhere, hopefully sooner rather than later.  Take care of you!