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Title: No cure for BPD, no cure for us nons who were with them Post by: JerryRG on July 04, 2016, 08:40:37 PM Having BPD is tragic enough and must be h*** to live with and no sure or easy cure or fix. Then there are us nons who lived with and suffered with the pwBPD making the disorder all the more tragic.
Thinking about my son and his future with his mother, he will need extra attention to even begin to understand her behaviours and how they affect him, me and all those his mother touches. Reality bites Title: Re: No cure for BPD, no cure for us nons who were with them Post by: seenr on July 05, 2016, 12:50:59 AM I have a three year old who keeps telling me 'mammy very sad'
Is she telling him she is sad or is he just picking up on it? Either way at 3 I woild prefer him to not have to work these things out. I want him to be able to say how he feels but not be 'programmed' like this. BPD's leave a mark on all concerned including themselves. Title: Re: No cure for BPD, no cure for us nons who were with them Post by: Leonis on July 05, 2016, 01:27:09 AM I have a three year old who keeps telling me 'mammy very sad' Just from my own ex, I can tell you that she makes/made choices that were probably not the best. Were they on purpose? I don't know. Based on the random steam of thoughts she's shared with me during the time we were together/after, I found her to be stuck in some preteen/teen drama stage. Want to be the martyr, the tragic figure who goes through much in life. There's already an outline she wants to follow: the spinster cat lady. Except, she's "open-minded" about marriage and maybe going back to church, etc. Oh, and also envisioning herself as single mother who sacrifices for her children, etc. and be the beacon of light for her younger siblings. Yeah... .the dysfunctional trying to lead the dysfunctional? They probably hate how things turned out, but conveniently forget that their actions caused those issues. Selective memory. Title: Re: No cure for BPD, no cure for us nons who were with them Post by: woundedPhoenix on July 05, 2016, 01:54:59 AM Just from my own ex, I can tell you that she makes/made choices that were probably not the best. Were they on purpose? I don't know. Based on the random steam of thoughts she's shared with me during the time we were together/after, I found her to be stuck in some preteen/teen drama stage. Want to be the martyr, the tragic figure who goes through much in life. There's already an outline she wants to follow: the spinster cat lady. Except, she's "open-minded" about marriage and maybe going back to church, etc. Oh, and also envisioning herself as single mother who sacrifices for her children, etc. and be the beacon of light for her younger siblings. Yeah... .the dysfunctional trying to lead the dysfunctional? They probably hate how things turned out, but conveniently forget that their actions caused those issues. Selective memory. What tremendous change it would be if they could just see for one breef moment that they are the victim of their disease foremost, The Martyrdom is something they unconsciously bring onto themselves, and people in their life will always dissappointment them in trying to proove them wrong, cause the disease doesn't allow for happiness to endure. The disease wants something that looks like love, but it destroys it once it becomes real love. |