BPDFamily.com

Hello everyone.  I spent the majority of my time here on the "children of" board, but after getting some new info, I wanted to share this with you all.

This forum was my lifeline for many years. <3 I now have four kids, am still happily married, and am the daughter of a NPD/BPD couple. (Yes, those of us who grew up in that environement can survive, learn healthy relationship patterns, and recover, despite the   my-issues )    

For the last four years, I've been working specifically on the ADHD issues in my family, because myself, my husband, and two of my four kids have been officially diagnosed.  ADHD is *really, really, REALLY* mis-represented in the media, so I had no idea how badly it was affecting our family and relationships.  I made contact with an ADHD author who's book actually saved our marriage, and made some interesting discoveries about how **untreated** ADHD can be related to both BPD and NPD.  Seriously.

Here's an article I wrote on her website about the changes that ADHD treatment made in my family, when I was worried that my own daughter was also showing narcissistic tendencies. (Gosh, can you imagine how triggering this was for me? Seeing my daughter become a little reflection of my NPD dad? It was horrifying.) www.adhdrollercoaster.org/adhd-and-relationships/was-i-raising-a-narcissist/

I also wrote the "book club" series on the same blog.

I came back to share this with you all here, because there is some research to show that BPD **can be** (isn't always! but can be!) a result of untreated ADHD + trauma. Girls and women w/ ADHD also go un-treated more often.  I don't remember seeing anyone here post about stimulant medication trials with BPD/NPD family members, so I just had to share this.  You guys were my life-line, and I don't know if I could have made it through my own PTSD issues without your help, so I had to come back and tell you all that there may be hope either 1) for your BPD, or 2) to KEEP from passing BPD to yourself or your own kids, if you recognize ADHD early, and get proper treatment.  The patient will be much more equipped to HANDLE trauma, and may not develop a personality disorder.  love

ALSO, on another note:  I met a woman who's daughter was diagnosed with BPD, but a smart neurologist saw *something* (I don't know what!) and ordered a 24-hour sleep study.  It turned out the BPD daughter was having mini-strokes, less than 2 seconds long, every minute.  Once meds were started for the strokes, the BPD symptoms disappeared.  shocked

I'M STILL NO-CONTACT WITH MY PARENTS.  They "don't believe" in ADHD, and don't think there's anything wrong with them.  However, I may have stopped the cycle in my own kids.

Let me know what you think.
Sincerely,
TTGB, or "Taylor J"

Hello tryintogetby

Many thanks for sharing your journey and learning, very helpful indeed. My 27yr daughter, a high achiever through school and university was diagnosed BPD last year, there are a couple of ADHD elements I see may correspond to BPD and you have prompted me to reflect. My daughter is an adult, I'm not party to her medical progress, less she share with me, which she does at times - it's not a joined up conversation, like many here I'm doing my very best. Daughter is in DBT and working hard. As you say, let's explore wider, keep our minds open.

I'm sorry your parents are stuck in their world ... .and hope in time there is change  to embrace. As a mother, I congratulate you on your personal journey and family achievements. You are doing brilliantly, you shine!

I'll continue to reflect on your wonderful post for some time. Thx.

WDx