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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Herodias on July 08, 2016, 03:50:58 PM



Title: How do I stop my ex from contacting my lawyer and increasing my fees?
Post by: Herodias on July 08, 2016, 03:50:58 PM
As much as no contact is a good thing, I am frustrated by mine contacting my lawyer with petty questions. Every time he engages her and she has to contact me, it costs money. How do I get this to stop? I certainly do not want him to contact her after everything is settled. If he wants to ask me some stupid question I would rather he contact me. I do not know how to handle this. He wrote to my lawyer and asked her what my new e-mail address was in order to pay me money he owes me. Now, first of all, my e-mail address never changed as he implied. Secondly, he never needed my e-mail address(he never uses it anyway), only my phone number which he purposely uses to pay me through a particular account that texts messages me at 4 am when he purposely pays me to wake me up. (Remember the trying to not allow you to sleep thing they do?)  So, he is just wasting money asking her this stuff. What am I going to do when this case is over? I don't want him contacting her all of the time and my getting charged in the future... .what do I do?


Title: Re: How do I stop my ex from contacting my lawyer and increasing my fees?
Post by: ForeverDad on July 08, 2016, 04:21:27 PM
Can your lawyer respond by letter or email to him, with copy to you, that her client Ms Herodias has instructed her to inform him to contact Ms Herodias directly at ____ or ____ for all issues that do not require lawyer action.  If any such communications are received by the lawyer, they will be forwarded to her client (or ignored/returned?) without lawyer intervention.

If he has his own lawyer then your lawyer should provide your contact information to his lawyer and inform his lawyer that she will reject or ignore all communications from sbEx that either (1) come directly from stbEx or (2) come through stbEx's lawyer that do not require lawyer involvement.


Title: Re: How do I stop my ex from contacting my lawyer and increasing my fees?
Post by: Herodias on July 08, 2016, 04:33:01 PM
Can your lawyer respond by letter or email to him, with copy to you, that her client Ms Herodias has instructed her to inform him to contact Ms Herodias directly at ____ or ____ for all issues that do not require lawyer action.  If any such communications are received by the lawyer, they will be forwarded to her client (or ignored/returned?) without lawyer intervention.

If he has his own lawyer then your lawyer should provide your contact information to his lawyer and inform his lawyer that she will reject or ignore all communications from sbEx that either (1) come directly from stbEx or (2) come through stbEx's lawyer that do not require lawyer involvement.

Thank you... .that sounds like a perfect idea... .I will give it a try.


Title: Re: How do I stop my ex from contacting my lawyer and increasing my fees?
Post by: SES on August 12, 2016, 01:13:45 PM
My ex started to represent herself from Christmas onwards.  As a result she escalated the volume of her correspondence to my lawyer, which has been very costly.  Luckily my lawyer now knows that if her correspondence can be ignored it will be.  She sent my lawyer an email 2 weeks ago threatening to take me to court re access to the kids.  Lawyer only told me about it today as she had been on holiday... .she said why respond... .if ex starts legal proceedings then I'll see her in court.   Lawyer said that she didn't want to respond as it will just flare her up and we won't go anywhere or resolve anything.


Title: Re: How do I stop my ex from contacting my lawyer and increasing my fees?
Post by: SamwizeGamgee on August 18, 2016, 03:17:06 PM
Good example here of how an abuser gets a great big weapon by using the family court.
Adversarial people love adversity!
I'm sorry this is happening to you.