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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: ttz on July 12, 2016, 09:58:00 PM



Title: BPD Daughter just went on fb page to delete, Im painted black..again
Post by: ttz on July 12, 2016, 09:58:00 PM
She knew my password, she set it up, Im painted black and I hardly use the Facebook page.  It never occurred to me that she'd get back at me.

Now Im wondering what else did I give her access to.

For the past several years I have helped her , paid medical bills, blah blah blah... .You know the rest... .you did it too.

Wow.  I can't believe she actually erased herself out.  I should have expected this.  In our last visit when we had her come here thing were missing and we decided to put a lock on our bedroom door.  Not anything of real value missing other than very sentimental.  But we wanted to have our space not violated.  So we put locks on and made an excuse why it was there.

Im not mad, not even agitated, but completely disappointed.

Anyone else experience this stuff?


Title: Re: BPD Daughter just went on fb page to delete, Im painted black..again
Post by: Turkish on July 12, 2016, 11:56:31 PM
What does that tell you that she made "you" block or unfriend her,  when it would have been easier for her to just block or unfriend you?

And I hope you've changed your password now  *)


Title: Re: BPD Daughter just went on fb page to delete, Im painted black..again
Post by: ttz on July 14, 2016, 03:07:25 PM
Can you be more specific.  You asked me:
what does that tell you... .

I wouldn't ask if I didn't know.  And yes I changed my password.  Im new to all of this and it may be obvious to you but not me.


Title: Re: BPD Daughter just went on fb page to delete, Im painted black..again
Post by: Turkish on July 14, 2016, 04:16:06 PM
I'd say that one, she refuses to take responsibility (else she would have done it on her side); two, she may be "making" you punish/abandon her (because that's what part of her thinks in her mind); and three, she may have done this in a way to force you to connect with her, leaving aside the fact that she's the one who withdrew.

Quote from: https://bpdfamily.com/content/borderline-personality-disorder
[people with BPD]... .are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternatively be seen as beneficent supports or as cruelly punitive. Such shifts often reflect disillusionment with a caregiver whose nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected.

Asserting boundaries consistently (changing the password, and checking into whatever else you may have given her access to are good boundaries) can help deflect drama. The whole Facebook thing may seem petty and superficial. Maybe since your boundaries are better in other areas, she felt she could violate them in an attempt to assert control again, as she has in so many other ways?