BPDFamily.com

  All,

I know many here are conflicted and trying to decide what to do. I have to say thank you to all for the posts, input, and tools.

If you are conflicted. Take the time to understand BPD if you are new to all this. Read the articles, tools ( they are very helpful).

Consider getting the book SWOE, and a few of the others.

Remember Life is the most difficult exam. Many people fail because they try to copy others. Not realising that everyone has a different question paper. Meaning for each of us we have our own path or journey, and what is best.

Life is truly for the living, enjoy it, be in the Now and above all remember it is not the destination but the journey. If life throws you a curve on the path, learn from it don't fall in the manhole. Pick yourself up and keep going! A straight path would be boring.
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No answer is right or wrong as long as you are doing what is best for you, and  your family. Maintain your life with self respect, self love and healing.

What was hard for me is learning about the mirroring and devaluing phase, and the silent treatments. It does go back to how my Mom was though. Once I could put a name to it, and use the tools, and realize it was not me. That was so helpful.

Don't get me wrong I had to see why I put up with it, and heal that. We can always learn something new everyday, maybe how to validate better, more compassion ( the world can never have enough), how to implement boundaries.

In self love maybe more self care or how to take more time for our lives and hobbies. Not be the caretaker, or the sole responsible one for everything and anything, including all emotions in the home.

What we can't do when it comes to the BPD in our lives, their  rages or problems is take it all into our soul.  We need to remember we didn't cause it, can't control it,  nor cure it.

Tell your story here, reach out, get help, book a T if you need one. Help is here, and I for one appreciate all who have contributed to make the board and get the word out so us nons can be supported.

The Game of life is all about you living a fulfilling life, being happy, being healthy ( health is your first wealth). You can't be happy or healthy if dragged down.

Find yourself, your core values, goals that are important to you.

Start with small steps, if beaten down, reach out, find some joy or gratitude in the day. Once you find that more will come.

 Start something important to you if it is exercise, a new book, starting a new venture, going on a trip, start planning it. Make time for you and do it.

While doing this journal if you need to, read some books or articles here.

Ground and center yourself. Breath, let the negativity go and find yourself.

Go through the stages of hurt, depression, grief, anger. Acknowledge your feelings, don't hide them or ignore, they are there to let you know things aren't right. Examine and see why you got in or are in a situation with a BPD maybe raging at you, or who left you. Heal that, take your power back.

You, and your soul owns your power, don't give that away.

Once you heal and work on you then you are equipped to decide how to make it work if that is what you want.

If staying in the relationship again use the tools, learn to validate, have a plan and goal in mind.

 If you can't stay and need to go, use the tools to be safe, learn LC, NC, and how to communicate with your loved one.

Be safe, be wise and be you.

You are special and unique if all else fails and the BPD in your life won't get help, won't try, and won't look within then you must decide. Only you will truly know what is best, but that doesn't mean you might not be in the FOG. So again reach out, get insight, get help.

 If it gets to the point there is a train wreck, don't stand on the tracks, don't be a bystander. Let go and be the star of your own show.



Good luck to you.