BPDFamily.com

I greatly appreciate the posts here and along with all the fine tools at this site and elsewhere have made me realize detachment is the ONLY way for my healing and moving on with my life.

I thought I could move further along in my detachment process from my stbxBPDw if I could only understand the BPD from their own words. I thought this would give me the ultimate closure if I could substantially comprehend their world.

I proceeded in this quest and found to me the most bizarre and incomprehensible way of thinking. They use metaphors to describe their life and after reading it over several times, I still cannot understand. They all, including our sister here in our bpdfamily who described her BPD, seem to instinctually protect their feelings to an extreme and also appear to be eventually aloof to the nons feelings and blame the non. Our sister states all her boyfriends left? She had nothing to do with this? You all know blame is the name of the game with BPD. See below for quotes and links.

My conclusion is that my understanding of BPDs is I won't understand them. I never could understand my stbxBPDw as one example of the many strange quirks, she used to say she would have at least 4 thoughts in her mind at one time. I don't get it, I cannot relate, I need to detach and move on as simple as this.

I need to also work on me and as one example as posted by Mieli, I need to: "look at why we choose to continue to "use" and perpetuate our own addictive cycle."

I am still recovering from this mess but I believe I am going in the right direction. I need to keep reading, keep posting and keep living.

BPDs narratives:

"set out to destroy" (the Non's) "life in a cunning, sly way that employs gossip, social media infiltration and a lifelong hatred."

www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/borderline-personality-disorder-symptoms

"If someone with borderline is abusing you, get your ass out of there ... .because most of us are never going to get better, or at least not before hurting you very badly."

https://www.quora.com/Abnormal-Psychology-What-does-it-feel-like-to-have-borderline-personality-disorder

"I don’t do it on purpose. My automatic instinct is to protect myself from people, no matter who they are."

www.elitedaily.com/life/borderline-personality/1097477/

"... .in my mind and heart, real.  I seemed as if I was in love. I felt that I was in love."

"When my boyfriends left – and invariably they all left"

https://bpdfamily.com/content/my-definition-love-i-have-borderline-personality-disorder

Hi SSN-


If you're understanding-driven like me, and sounds like you are, you might try reading some clinical literature on BPD.  Early in my detachment I read Masterson's The Search for the Real Self, a great book, clinical but accessible to us laymen, and once I'd finished I understood why she does what she does, didn't make her behaviors acceptable by any stretch, but at least I understood why she did them, and that helped a great deal.

Thank you fromheeltoheal, I am understanding-driven as you call it.  I am a problem solver both at work at my job and in my personal life. I like to do my research before I make decisions.

I have read your posts before, some responding to my past post like you did here and I want you to know I greatly appreciate your posts.

I will read this book for I have three children with her so I will be in contact with her for a long time, my kids are 10, 8 and 6.  Right now I am testing the best ways to get along with her understanding at least that I am her trigger to rage. Despite the storms it is getting better and I truly know for sure that I will never be in a BPD r/s ever again.