BPDFamily.com

 

May I inform a familymember of the partner I am detaching from?

He, BPD, has a doctor in his family
He, BPD, has talked about suïcide. He is tired of longing for love (kuddles, kisses)

Would this doctor (retired) be of any help? I know that he, BPD, adores visiting this kind family.
They are wise.
They told him to keep our relationship between him and me and not to involve his (4) kids.
But he didn't  listen.

Shall I just shut up?

threats of suicide should be reported

Is the suicide threat standard behavior or out of the norm?  Attention seeking or real?  Hard to know for sure but if you think it is real I would think that letting those who are healthy and close to him know may be helpful.

 

Thanks to answer me!
No, I won't tell anyone.
It seems that only one cousin in this whole family is clever enough to stay
away from this "clusterfamily".

If that doctorsfamily finds it necessary to pretend that "all rules fine" and to tell me that ex is a "good lad"... .I'll keep it like that.

He would often tell me about suicide, being tired of beling alone and not getting enough affection. He would beg me to love him and knowing that I couln't give as much as he needed, he'd talk about suicide.
He is very needy, as a toddler.
If ever he does it, he 'll be free of the pain he suffers.

Anyhow, he's most likely relieved to be able to move on now that we've split up. Since it is never his fault, he'll be optimistic about the future and he'll survive . He'll have nobody to share his darkest thoughts with because to the outside world he is a very kind man without many problems.

I have had a friend like that who was OK for the outsideworld and drank 24 cans of beer at home. He dropped death in te street.

So... .I won't bother because telling that doctorsfamily would make things worse because he wants to be "just fine".

That may be how he feels.  How do you feel about that? Is it valid from your punt of view?  It sounds like you care,  but are worried about stirring up drama.  Mentioning it in the past is one thing.  Contacting you and saying specific (immediate) threats are another.  Maybe this can help you decide:

TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts  (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=79032.0)

T

Hello Turkish,

How do I feel about that... .sad... .but he has asked me:"do I have to live like that (longing for the love and affection he needs) for the rest of my life?"
and that is very sad too. So... if ever he'd want to end it... .I would have no tools to stop him.

Do I care?... .I am not worried today, I was when I posted it.
He had texted that he was so sick being alone.

Yesterday he texted that he is doing fine whe his therapy and he'd recommend me to do the same.

Guess he won't let me know in the future because we want to let go of each other.

I once talked an ex- boyfriend through his suicide idea.
It was very special because I woke up at 2 am and I yelled his name.
He was about 200 km away from me.
I texted him and he didn't answer.

Next, at 6 am I rang him and he said that yes he didn't want to live anymore and he was seriously thinking how to end it.
I kept talking to him but I was honest that I wouln't return to him.
Years long I didn't hear anything anymore (he could have been death) and about 6 years later I found out that he is doing fine now. Having a job is Always something that keeps them going.

I thought I was over and done with dating men with those s ideas.
On this board I learn not to feel responsible for what they feel... .I SHOULD learn so... .and not take on their emotions.