BPDFamily.com

Been crying off and on all day, something has come over me as I am normally in control of my emotions. I miss my daughter. The grief just comes and goes but for some reason today it is very hard. I saw her for dinner and it was nice. I have not reached out to her nor has she reached out to me. I imagine we are both afraid.
I am afraid I am not strong enough to keep my boundaries and I imagine she is afraid of rejection.

So here we are. My heart is breaking over and over.

I have had a difficult time, my mom is BPD and bi polar, I have been dealing with this forever. What did I ever do to make god or the universe or who ever so pissed at me? 

Who will love my girl? I am in so much pain I cant imagine how much pain she must be in. I want to rock her in my arms like a child and tell her it will all be o.k.
But it wont I know it, and she knows it.

Feeling very sorry for myself today.

You say so much of what I feel and am afraid to admit for then it becomes real.  Thanks for sharing.

Oh need a break , my heart is just breaking up for you , I wish I could offer words of wisdom and comfort  the only thing I can offer is  a big huge bearhug , some cyber tissues and lots of love xxxx

Thank you for both.  It was a long day yesterday - I spent hours looking for things to do to help/cure her. That's what I do when I feel this way. I know there is nothing left to do but feel these horrible feels.

I get that, and was like that for a long time. Yes its scary to say it out loud and yes it makes it real.
You do what you need to for yourself and your own preservation.

Thank you for the support