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Not sure if any of you have seen the movie "Lone Survivor". Marcus Luttrell, a navy seal with multiple fractures to his pelvis and back faced death in Afghanistan. He reached out above his head, drew a line in the sand and crawled until his feet touched the line. Then did it again. He did this for 7 miles.

What courage. His words to himself "Let's go"

Does anyone else ever feel like running away from the nightmare? I do.

- BPD/NPD ex spouse
- My Co dependency.
- Children and their issues
- My FOO and their nonsense/abuse
- Dysfunctional relationships
- Boundaries

3 years ago I was blissfully unaware of any of this. Is it weak to want to just dissappear to another country and start again? 

I'm just feeling a bit weak. Recovery can be a long, sometimes tedious route.

"Let's go"

Hello Moselle

I heard someone say "life's a b___, then you die"

Life is all we get, like it or not. My biggest problem is not accepting things just as they are, so the natural inclination is to change them. I am starting to accept life on life's terms, in reality I really have no choice about many things, but I do on so many others, especially my beliefs, my morals, my values. Without these I'm just someone's puppet as I was when with my BPD ex.

Life is what we make of it, attitude determines our joy, acceptance gives us freedom and peace.

Without a struggle we would all still long to be safe in our mothers wombs, but then look at all we would miss.

Hope you feel better, I've run most of my life, I cannot run from my responsibilities to my children, or myself any longer.

Thanks, Moselle,

This made me cry, made me feel weak for being unable to be strong, and also empowered me all at once... .I think being with my exBPDbf for 8 years has made me capable of feeling every shade of emotion simultaneously (guess I am used to emotional chaos).  Anyway, I want to thank you as an Ambassador for sharing that you still struggle with the same things that the majority of us on here are struggling with. I thought for a long while that Ambassadors were somehow those wise and serene individuals who had risen completely above their former circumstances and were now presiding in a Jedi-like way over the rest of us poor struggling souls... .it is really wonderful to know that not only are all you all wise and experienced, you STILL grapple with the aftermath of your former entanglements at times. 

"Let's go" indeed.

I think this is very natural. I am honestly in the process of getting the heck out of here. Well, I want to move back to where I grew up.

But yea, I don't really like where I live any more. I'm ready for new scenery, new faces, a different climate--- less reminders that trigger emotional responses I would likely get past far faster if I was in a new exiting place.

They say, it is easier for the one who is leaving, than the one who is left behind.

Perhaps you need to leave, and in that journey you'll find it easier to heal.

So true Jerry. Thank you for the encouragement. Attitude is something I'm working on. I'm trying to be grateful for all I have.

Hadn't thought about the importance of acceptance for peace.


I'm glad I could clarify this for you chillamom :)

Yes we are all in the same boat here and we all still struggle with things.

One thing I do differently now is allow myself to be vulnerable and reach out. Its amazing how we can strengthen each other. So thank you for your post - it has given me strength