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What kind of things do you tell yourself when you are grieving about your ex to self-soothe?

What kind of things do you tell yourself to self-validate?

Thanks gang!

Hi kc sunshine!   :)

Well what I do is not tell myself something, but remember an example. I usually just remember a big dysregulation (i.e., "fight", what I did to handle that, and the outcomes from it. Walking through one usually helped me return to reality. If you can, I found these helped me more:

• The "worse" it is, the better.  The weird thing is, the worse it is, the more powerful the soothing. It seems to create more relief.
• It seems to help if you pick one where you "performed" more to your satisfaction.
• It also helps if you can see the humour in it--so if you have a funny one, pick that. It's literally in your head now so it's quite okay if someone else is the butt of the joke.  :)

One or two might be enough for you.

The same things I told her. I found this to be the easiest way because you don't need to learn "new" things. Pretend you're talking to your ex then just repeat what you would say to soothe her, but do it on yourself. It's bonafide and I've seen at least one MD and one PhD (both "famous" that vouch for it.

Enjoy.  :)

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good question thx.

i tell myself i tried all i could and she decided this path. she is the master of her own destiny.

i did far more and took far more than most.

i can forgive myself.

my daughter is all that matters from this relationship.

it is not my job to fix my ex

it is not my job to protect my ex

i dont have to give or support anymore

 |iiii