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Can someone explain me WHY my ex sent me his flying monkey to ask how I was on my birthday?
After he discarded me again in the most horrific way?
Did he want to know I was shattered? ( I blocked him everywhere and unfriended all' the common acquaintances)

Did he fine pleasure in knowing my pain?
What for?

I did not answered. I never will. I am absolutely sure he sent her.

Why?

without knowing either of them or their motives, probably not.


what makes you so sure?


concern? self interest? curiosity? we can only speculate. you intend not to respond, so what does it mean to you?

What would change if you knew the answer?  I've asked my wife why she's done things since she left, and without an ounce of snark or guile or hostility in her voice she's replied "I don't f*&!ing know ICE I'm crazy."

My T would probably prefer the term "emotionally labile/dysregulated," but the gist of my wife's statement is true. 

Maybe he wants to hurt you.  Does that make it easier to see him as he is and let go?
Maybe he's just emotionally immature and doesn't realize what he's doing hurts you.  Does that let him off the hook or give you hope he can change (I have bad news on that front)?
Maybe he doesn't know why he does what he does because he's emotionally dysregulated.  Then what?

I know you want to know.  ALL of us want closure and to understand what the hell just happened.  At some point, though, I promise you won't care any more because in the end whether he means to or doesn't or is somewhere in between doesn't matter:  all that matters is how it makes you feel and whether or not you can become well enough that he can't hurt you any more.  It hurts so much I am so sorry but it will get better and you will only delay your recovery - THE most important part - by analyzing why HE does what he does.

So a flying monkey is a monkey with wings under the control of the Wicked Witch of the West, sent to capture Dorothy and the Lion, and dismember the Scarecrow and the Tin Man.  Lots of loaded imagery there, but what are we really talking about?  Who came over Unforgiven, specifically?


I don't know, there could be a few reasons.  Most importantly though Unforgiven, what can you make this mean and how are you using this moving forward and detaching?