BPDFamily.com

I hope others follow and do the same as me.

I was not going to send this to her but I decided to... .

I have really hurt my self by doing research online. Notice I didn't blame you. I really believed you when you said you brother had passed and you had to go out of town for the funeral.

It was strange you didn't want me to attend for support.  Come to find out you were vacationing with the ex before me. I guess no one can hide from you, huh. Let's see.

I'm hurting because of our almost 2.5 years together I got nothing to show for it but this foolish feeling. You were too depressed to show up for my bday party and like a fool I believed you. Maybe is bc you were too busy making wedding plans. Hmm

I don't know why this still hurts but I hope this time you 2 remain together. If he'll take you after what you've put him through and you continue to recycle him, time after time, maybe you should try keeping it steady this time around. Can't say I wish you luck bc the karma that you've pulled your way, well!

I will move forward with my life. But not until the anger completely disappears.

I hope to not ever run into you. I don't want to see you, not even in pictures. My mission from today going forward, you are dead to me and my family. We will never say your name again.  And you know I mean it when I say it. This is one fool you will never ever have the pleasure of knowing ever again. If I see you laying in the ground, gasping for air and no one else around to help you, I promise I will cross over your and keep it moving.

Send me a check for the money you owe my mom. We never want to see you again. I didn't before but today, ip told them all about you.  

I sent it then I deleted my email acct.

Too much anger? Bc she was at my ex wife's job today starting drama.

Oh and i read letting the anger out is good.

Hi FBM-


Well, for borderlines anger indicates an emotional attachment is still in place, any emotion would, which can encourage contact, the way to avoid contact being severe indifference and no reinforcement of the attachment, so a borderline will go elsewhere.  So it depends what the goal is, although I get you're angry and you let her have it.


It is, although usually best to let it out in ways that don't create damage and/or make the situation worse.

Anyway, it is what it is, how do you feel now about it FBM?  Has it soothed your anger?

Hi FBM,

You hesitated to send it for a reason. fromheeltoheal's right, it's going to validate an attachment. I also agree with fromheeltoheal, it's sent, it is what it is.


Is that feeling, betrayal? Maybe that's something that you can share with us?

Anger can be a mask for pain.  Reading the letter,  I felt that one of your goals was to hurt her.  :)o you think that's true?  

Still angry. And it wasn't a mask it is obviously pain. It's impossible to hurt something that's already dead.  I know there's still attachment and that's entirely my fault. Give me break I'm currently work on that problem. Maybe I shouldn't have sent it. Too late now. Thank you all for you replying.  I made a mistake and God s going to help me in rectifying it. Way too much for me to handle alone.

FBM, wish I had some wise words. I can feel your pain here 

As harsh as this sounds, I feel the exact same way about my ex. I haven't said this to her directly and probably won't but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this level of contempt. As others have said, there's not much you can do now that the letter has been sent so try not to worry about it too much.

Hi Fallback

Strangely enough I did the same thing yesterday; felt good getting it down and out.  I'm not going to let him have the last word and make me feel worthless so I also penned an email to get my hurt feelings down and make him see that there are consequences to his actions.

I hope you feel better for sending it.  I have to keep re-reading mine over and over to reinforce to myself it was the right thing for me to do.

Edited to say; mine was partly to hurt and punish him as per Mutt's questions above but moreover to let him know I'm not some pushover that's going to take his cr*p anymore.

That title is stupid. I should've thought of a better title for this post. Maybe I was sleep typing and typed the wrong thing.

Yes I know. It's too late now. But I know just the right thing to take care of this anger. But I'm open to suggestions. Anybody have any ideas? How do you deal with pain of this magnitude?

I thought the title was pretty descriptive FBM; why do you think it's stupid?


And what would that right thing be?

Things that are helpful for anger are intense exercise, burn up that energy, meditation, and a radical focus shift by asking the question how can I use this to help me detach and grow?  Not things you want to hear necessarily when you're angry, but try it anyway.

And as discussed, anger is almost always a secondary emotion, with hurt or something else underneath.  So doing something energetic to burn up the energy of the anger, for example, will let it subside enough to start to deal with what's underneath it.  And that can be motivation for addressing the anger in productive ways yes?