|
Title: How the mind works... Post by: woundedPhoenix on August 28, 2016, 09:31:47 AM Anyone here found an answer for this:
I have done a lot of detachment work, come to terms with my own side of things, and know that the r/s was as unhealthy for me as cyanide. In a way i am ready to move on. But sometimes when i see her to exchange our daughter, i still get the feels as like i felt the first days i knew her... .just by seeing her. Its frustrating cause despite all the many ways she hurt me... .i can only remember the rosy memories then. I guess its one of the final struggles in detaching on my end... .why do i by default focus on the good then? Title: Re: How the mind works... Post by: Rayban on August 28, 2016, 10:17:15 AM I know the feeling to we'll. I work with my ex and have to see her everyday. Despite going out of my way to avoid her, I still think about the good times we shared.
Why do I do this? Im hooked on the fantasy of the honeymoon stage and how she mirrored back my ideal woman. The high was so powerful it becomes like an addiction. I still have a lot of work to do. I have to begin by realizing that Im addicted to the love bombing and not the person who inflicted it. Title: Re: How the mind works... Post by: enlighten me on August 28, 2016, 10:48:22 AM I suppose it depends on what mood theyre in. If they look happy and are friendly then our mind will make a connection to the past. Just like when you smell something cooking and are transported back to your childhood home and your mum cooking the same thing.
We constantly make these connections. Its part of how we function. we do this almost every minute of the day to navigate us through our lives. Whether its remembering routes or dragging up past experiences. I cant eat vegetables. I used to until I was force fed when I was six. I can still recall the taste of beetroot, tomato and lettuce even though I havent eaten them for thirty nine years. Occasionally something will trigger that memory and I can taste them again. Funny thing the mind. |