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My Ex BPD Girlfriend who I hadn't heard from for nearly a year contacted me in a 2am drunken phone call earlier this year saying how much she missed me and call her back. I didn't get back straight away, tex her 2 days later and she called straight away. In the conversation she said she was  thinking of moving back to where she used to live which is a fair way away. When we were together and she did this I begged her to stay, now I am indifferent and told her if that's what you want go for it. Anyway she did and I haven't heard a word since. Seen her on a well known dating site and no contact. Why the drunken phone call then no contact or did my indifference to her moving trigger her. Not wanting to get back with her before anyone suggests that but still educating myself on BPD Traits has I have attracted a couple of them now and just want to educate myself for any future dealings

Alcohol lowers inhibitions, as we know, and contacting an ex while intoxicated is called a Drunk Dial, it's got a name it's so common, hell I've done it more than once, usually embarrassing later, especially when it's in writing and whoever it was decides to share it around.  And then throw in the borderline trait of hating to lose an attachment and it makes sense.

Good for you for waiting a while to return the message, the fact she called you immediately is more indication she was looking to see if an attachment was still in place, and good for you for being indifferent, the best way to indicate to her that it is no longer in place. 

And you posted about it here, are you really indifferent or is that just what you showed her?  Assuming of course you don't want a relationship with her.  I got a letter from my ex years after I left her, the letter being full of idealization and it triggered me, but I considered it a challenge to see how fast I could get back to grounded, and was proud of myself that it only took about an hour, where a few years ago that letter would have run around my brain for weeks.  Progress, we celebrate the progress... .

Take care of you!

I am indifferent has I know there are no happy endings with these people. If I am honest the only side I admit to missing with her and  a previous BPD is the sex and that is what has made me respond quickly in the past and give in, in the past. Now I know going back even for the goodies only makes it worse.

So is it accurate to say that you went into the relationship to take, you ended up giving, and then realized what you were in the middle of?  How did that feel?

They leave you confused, bewildered and your ego a bit battered after a time with them.

OK, and you're speaking in third person, and specifically, how do you feel?  Confusion is actually a good thing, it means we're about to learn something, and what do you mean by bewildered specifically?  Working through the process of detachment is a very good thing, an opportunity to learn a lot about ourselves; how is that going? 

I'm a lot better having reading on here and on other articles. I was like everyone else the first time it happened to me and when you see them with someone else and they seem so happy its like a dagger through the heart. Yes I did use to nosey at their Facebook a while back but must be getting wise to their behaviours as the last one's boyfriend publicly declared his dying love for her and she did back. A few years back this would have devastated me but I thought game over and a few weeks later he was upset has she left him. I find it always does me good coming back on these boards to remind myself of there patterns