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My xw has recruited the help of a flying monkey. A man who doesn't know me, harasses me for no reason. This is  very senseless and hurtful. Has anyone ever had this experience? Does it stop? If so what is the reaction of the flying monkey when the see what damaging behavior they were needlessly put up to?

Mine recruited one of my best friends. I still don't think he has caught on. Maybe they will maybe they won't but I'll be ok either way. Anyone who believes that garbage about me doesn't deserve to be in my life.

I am sure your flying ,monkey will see the truth soon enough.

Thanks hope2727, that is very sad that your friend turned on you. They don't deserve to be in your life. I am conflicted bc I know her bf doesn't know any better. I feel he's not worth carrying around  a resement. Some day he might open his eyes and see what he has been deceived into. If that day comes do I treat him like he treated me or do I act like a man. I could never act like they are so I would probably be a man about it.

Hi bus boy,

I think you may very well be right that the man may not know that he's rescuing your ex and that you are cast as persecutor. Some of us were knights in shining armor at the onset of the r/s and this man may have a similar personality? That said, stay in the middle of the triangle and don't give them attention by JADE'ing. I'm not saying that you're giving them attention but give them nothing with radio silence. The less attention that we give  the quicker that they move on to something else.

Mine recruited a lot of my colleagues.

@busboy  

What type of harassment are you dealing with if you don't mind me asking?

as mentioned above, the best course of action is no reaction at all ... .none.  He could be disordered himself, or just believing what he's being told.

If it's the latter and he catches feelings for her, then he will definitely realize what he's dealing with and learn to regret it.

My ex had a stable of shady orbiters, bouncers gorillas, and the like,  that she kept in contact with for years. Use to brag about it always nice to have muscles around. I would bet that the incentive for them was sex.

I have no idea if she was in a relationship with them, or just kept them around for that purpose.  Makes me sick just writing about it.

I will continue to maintain radio silence. I will continue to yell my self, nothing from nothing is nothing.

Hi Rayban, I'm being followed, he is giving me the finger, shaking his fist at me, yesterday he pulled up in front of me and gave me a sarcastic childish wave, with my son in the back seat of his car and xw joined in on the childish waving and face making, at s9's swimming her BF went into the locker room and took s9's clothes to another locker room, I was standing in the locker room waiting for s9 like a fool before I realized what had taken place. He is texting s9 all the time during my access. Involving him self in things only the parents should be involved in. Either he is dis ordered or being totally manipulated. She is a pro of manuplation especially sexual manuplation. she is very sick person, she is only with him Bc he's a big goon, like a goon in hockey, used to put players out. She enjoys violence and using fear. She is pushing harder all the time to start trouble. She would love nothing more than to see him pound me. And it's getting closer to that all the time. 2 weeks ago, the 2 of them were pretty crazy.

Hi bus boy,

Maybe keep the texts and if she's giving more access than you;re getting consult with your L. If they're waving and making faces they're really embarrassing themselves. It's like Mark Twain said. Never argue with a fool because onlookers won't be able to tell the difference. It sounds like they both have similar emotional immaturity.

Best way to handle flying monkeys;



[quote. Act happy, friendly, confident, kind, helpful - unlike the person she claims that you are. Blow your own horn a bit about the charities you help or your other accomplishments. Be the opposite of what she is making you out to be and expect a long, hurtful ride until it clears up and s/he moves on to another target. And they will. They all do. Try hard to laugh off the accusations without any comments as your abuser will already have told people you are denying what she says. Part of their smear campaign is anticipating your denial.

We/quote]

Thanks Rayban, I will continue to take the high road.

The best advice i have is keep records. Screen shot every text and email it to yourself. Also print it and enter it into a carefully maintained journal. Video tape all weird waving and face making activity. Record all conversations. I wouldn't do so obviously. Just discreetly keep a clear concise journal.

That way you can prove everything should you have to. She will be horribly embarrassed and you will be vindicated.